OtherGround Forums Fem to male Trans finds out life as a Man

25 days ago
8/20/08
Posts: 4303

From a WAPO article:

 

Zander Keig, 52, San Diego

Coast Guard veteran. Works at Naval Medical Center San Diego as a clinical social work case manager. Editor of anthologies about transgender men. Started transition in 2005.

Prior to my transition, I was an outspoken radical feminist. I spoke up often, loudly and with confidence. I was encouraged to speak up. I was given awards for my efforts, literally — it was like, “Oh, yeah, speak up, speak out.” When I speak up now, I am often given the direct or indirect message that I am “mansplaining,” “taking up too much space” or “asserting my white male heterosexual privilege.” Never mind that I am a first-generation Mexican American, a transsexual man, and married to the same woman I was with prior to my transition.

 

I find the assertion that I am now unable to speak out on issues I find important offensive and I refuse to allow anyone to silence me. My ability to empathize has grown exponentially, because I now factor men into my thinking and feeling about situations. Prior to my transition, I rarely considered how men experienced life or what they thought, wanted or liked about their lives. I have learned so much about the lives of men through my friendships with men, reading books and articles by and for men and through the men I serve as a licensed clinical social worker.

I do notice that some women do expect me to acquiesce or concede to them more now: Let them speak first, let them board the bus first, let them sit down first, and so on. I also notice that in public spaces men are more collegial with me, which they express through verbal and nonverbal messages: head lifting when passing me on the sidewalk and using terms like “brother” and “boss man” to acknowledge me. As a former lesbian feminist, I was put off by the way that some women want to be treated by me, now that I am a man, because it violates a foundational belief I carry, which is that women are fully capable human beings who do not need men to acquiesce or concede to them.

25 days ago
8/20/08
Posts: 4304

I can recall a moment where this difference hit home. A couple of years into my medical gender transition, I was traveling on a public bus early one weekend morning. There were six people on the bus, including me. One was a woman. She was talking on a mobile phone very loudly and remarked that “men are such a–holes.” I immediately looked up at her and then around at the other men. Not one had lifted his head to look at the woman or anyone else. The woman saw me look at her and then commented to the person she was speaking with about “some a–hole on the bus right now looking at me.”

I was stunned, because I recall being in similar situations, but in the reverse, many times: A man would say or do something deemed obnoxious or offensive, and I would find solidarity with the women around me as we made eye contact, rolled our eyes and maybe even commented out loud on the situation. I’m not sure I understand why the men did not respond, but it made a lasting impression on me.

25 days ago
7/12/03
Posts: 4106

Pics

25 days ago
12/26/05
Posts: 42887

LMAO.

 

Article should be titled, " my brief and uncomfortable brushes with reality".

25 days ago
8/2/16
Posts: 491

Former lesbian to straight man, you really couldn't make this shit up.

25 days ago
7/29/13
Posts: 1001

See this shows you can't win with women. They whine and complain no matter what. 

25 days ago
8/20/08
Posts: 4305

"I’m not sure I understand why the men did not respond, but it made a lasting impression on me."

He will, when he gets hit with his first sexual harassment lawsuit.

25 days ago
1/27/15
Posts: 663

Damn was that it? I thought they’d keep going

25 days ago
1/1/01
Posts: 92512

"I now factor men into my thinking and feeling about situations"

LOL 

Edited: 25 days ago
1/1/01
Posts: 45182
DaveFu - 

"I now factor men into my thinking and feeling about situations"

LOL 

 

And all it took for her to come to this revelation was growing a cock.

 

25 days ago
5/12/03
Posts: 21628
Soup and Beer -
DaveFu - 

"I now factor men into my thinking and feeling about situations"

LOL 


And all it took for her to come to this realization was growing a cock.

It was probably sewn on, but yeah. 

25 days ago
10/6/15
Posts: 3563

Bossman? LOL

I've used that term a handful of times when talking to my son when he was a little guy. I have never heard 2 adult men use it in an exchange.

25 days ago
1/1/01
Posts: 21335
Twigwam - 

Former lesbian to straight man, you really couldn't make this shit up.


Does that mean the wife also went from lesbian to straight?
25 days ago
11/9/17
Posts: 8062
CavemanDave - 

LMAO.

 

Article should be titled, " my brief and uncomfortable brushes with reality".


LMAO! Perfect!
25 days ago
3/28/10
Posts: 11312

Men really have it tough. 

25 days ago
8/29/09
Posts: 14477
AlxinTO -

Bossman? LOL

I've used that term a handful of times when talking to my son when he was a little guy. I have never heard 2 adult men use it in an exchange.

Do you know any black people?  I'm called that probably 15 times a day.

But I am the boss, man.

25 days ago
1/1/01
Posts: 96477

A while back one of those newsoid shows (20/20, maybe?) had a woman live as a man for a while.  They made her up professionally to look pretty convincingly as a man, and had some guy take her with him as a his guy friend to hang out with other guys several times.  

She had pretty similar observations, as I recall. 

25 days ago
6/26/06
Posts: 12021
Bad Monkey - 
AlxinTO -

Bossman? LOL

I've used that term a handful of times when talking to my son when he was a little guy. I have never heard 2 adult men use it in an exchange.

Do you know any black people?  I'm called that probably 15 times a day.

But I am the boss, man.


He's probably low-middle management, no one calls him boss.
25 days ago
1/1/01
Posts: 53247

Matt Serra'd herself

25 days ago
8/20/08
Posts: 4306
Poop Doodle -

Men really have it tough. 

Still rather be a man though. F___ having babies.

25 days ago
9/15/13
Posts: 2136
AlxinTO -

Bossman? LOL

I've used that term a handful of times when talking to my son when he was a little guy. I have never heard 2 adult men use it in an exchange.

Never been on holiday? Any other place i venture to i become bossman... somehow

25 days ago
3/20/15
Posts: 12290

So while a woman, was in a relationship with another women, then changes to a man and is still with the same woman..???

Does this mean the other woman does not accept the sex change and still considers her girlfriend a woman ???

Isn't that a setback ??

25 days ago
2/22/13
Posts: 2812

Clinical social worker?  This thing is helping others with their mental problems?

25 days ago
10/14/12
Posts: 5904
CavemanDave -

LMAO.

 

Article should be titled, " my brief and uncomfortable brushes with reality".

Hahahahaha this made me laugh 

Edited: 25 days ago
11/28/03
Posts: 106586

at least he's fooling someone

 

consider me fooled

 

 

counselor, social worker, gender therapist

Zander Keig, LCSW