OtherGround Forums How Do You Discipline?

12 days ago
8/7/19
Posts: 1583
Aside from a swat here and there, and talking it out, what is your preferred method of discipline?

Do you take away privileges?

Cancel something big they were looking forward to like a trip?

Please share.

Le Shat
©
12 days ago
1/5/11
Posts: 19382

I tell her the dishes better be done before I get home. Usually seat her face with a curled up newspaper when she doesn't do a good job.

12 days ago
4/13/12
Posts: 31062

i ask one question.  head or gut?

12 days ago
5/18/10
Posts: 12767

Rub their face in it

12 days ago
4/11/14
Posts: 406
After finishing dinner and before bedtime, my daughter usually has dessert, which we call a "surprise" (even though its not a true surprise since she knows it coming, but I digress). If she starts to misbehave at any point during the day, I (or my wife) asks her if she wants to start losing things... that's her warning, next strike is no surprise. If she messes up again and the surprise has been already taken away, then we may take away TV time or story time, etc.

My wife is against spanking, although I've dished out two spankings to my daughter in her 4.5 years of existence, both of which effectively stopped the out of control meltdown. I don't believe spanking should be your "go to" (although my parents felt differently) but, if used sparingly can have the intended disciplinary effect.
12 days ago
3/15/06
Posts: 22514
The best motivator is when you take away something they like, I find oxygen works well.
12 days ago
9/13/06
Posts: 26881

I usually will send them to their room, and then I will have a talk about it.  Sometimes I add chores, but I don’t necessarily like to unless they are being punished for failure to complete chores, or something related.  There are no devices in their rooms so loosing them becomes part of the punishment.  They can however read books in their room during punishment.  

12 days ago
8/7/19
Posts: 1584
tiny pecker - After finishing dinner and before bedtime, my daughter usually has dessert, which we call a "surprise" (even though its not a true surprise since she knows it coming, but I digress). If she starts to misbehave at any point during the day, I (or my wife) asks her if she wants to start losing things... that's her warning, next strike is no surprise. If she messes up again and the surprise has been already taken away, then we may take away TV time or story time, etc.

My wife is against spanking, although I've dished out two spankings to my daughter in her 4.5 years of existence, both of which effectively stopped the out of control meltdown. I don't believe spanking should be your "go to" (although my parents felt differently) but, if used sparingly can have the intended disciplinary effect.

So what are you doing to discipline your wife for her incorrect beliefs on spanking?

Le Shat
©
12 days ago
7/12/14
Posts: 1233

Discipline your kids by showing them discipline in yourself. Kids are gonna fuck up, test your limits, say dumb things and it is all natural. Spanking teaches fear and lecturing teaches ignorance. If my kid doesn’t understand why we don’t kick a soccer ball in the house, I simply say “you could break something”. When my youngest hits my daughter and cries when she hits him back, I say “don’t hit people, they hit back”. He will hit her again and she will hit back again. Point being, discipline in yourself and staying calm through their mistakes will reverberate back and hopefully teach them to think things through but kids are kids, they need many mistakes to learn. 

12 days ago
2/8/08
Posts: 3957
If it's something serious, we take things away. Most of the time we take away electronics (x box, phone, TV, etc.).

If its something less serious, I have him do push-ups or sit ups. I have to be consistant with this, but it works. It drives me crazy when we have to ask him to do something twice. Push ups work great for an issue like this.

12 days ago
8/9/16
Posts: 22868

All that stuff...

11 days ago
1/13/11
Posts: 23702

I chose not to have children, I beat my meat though and still punish myself with alcohol after bad choices (usually buying the alcohol in the first place). 

11 days ago
4/11/14
Posts: 407
Le Shat V2 - 
tiny pecker - After finishing dinner and before bedtime, my daughter usually has dessert, which we call a "surprise" (even though its not a true surprise since she knows it coming, but I digress). If she starts to misbehave at any point during the day, I (or my wife) asks her if she wants to start losing things... that's her warning, next strike is no surprise. If she messes up again and the surprise has been already taken away, then we may take away TV time or story time, etc.

My wife is against spanking, although I've dished out two spankings to my daughter in her 4.5 years of existence, both of which effectively stopped the out of control meltdown. I don't believe spanking should be your "go to" (although my parents felt differently) but, if used sparingly can have the intended disciplinary effect.

So what are you doing to discipline your wife for her incorrect beliefs on spanking?

Le Shat
©

Make her live with me... and leave the door open when pooping.
11 days ago
9/13/08
Posts: 710
willis007 - 

Discipline your kids by showing them discipline in yourself. Kids are gonna fuck up, test your limits, say dumb things and it is all natural. Spanking teaches fear and lecturing teaches ignorance. If my kid doesn’t understand why we don’t kick a soccer ball in the house, I simply say “you could break something”. When my youngest hits my daughter and cries when she hits him back, I say “don’t hit people, they hit back”. He will hit her again and she will hit back again. Point being, discipline in yourself and staying calm through their mistakes will reverberate back and hopefully teach them to think things through but kids are kids, they need many mistakes to learn. 


You know, you can probably stop that second time the kid hit his sister by actually doing something. Like a parent would.

There's a difference between being constructive and being lazy. You're saying lead by example, but you're showing your children that it's okay to stay a bystander instead of being the pillar of authority and safety that a father should provide. You don't have to hit your kid or scar them to discipline. Put them in timeout for fifteen minutes when they throw a tantrum and don't let them skirt punishment that you said you'd dole out because you can't be bothered to follow through.

I don't have kids, but I was a child who had no rules or structure. I did have a dad who'd beat my ass and flip out for no reason at small things. Would've done me a lot of good to have an involved parent who didn't let me do dumb shit over and over because I was a hard headed moron who "should learn".
11 days ago
12/4/11
Posts: 445
tiny pecker - After finishing dinner and before bedtime, my daughter usually has dessert, which we call a "surprise" (even though its not a true surprise since she knows it coming, but I digress). If she starts to misbehave at any point during the day, I (or my wife) asks her if she wants to start losing things... that's her warning, next strike is no surprise. If she messes up again and the surprise has been already taken away, then we may take away TV time or story time, etc.

My wife is against spanking, although I've dished out two spankings to my daughter in her 4.5 years of existence, both of which effectively stopped the out of control meltdown. I don't believe spanking should be your "go to" (although my parents felt differently) but, if used sparingly can have the intended disciplinary effect.

Tiny Pecker does it just like I do.  We don't call anything a surprise, but the system is the same.  It has worked very well.  I think my daughter has had three spankings in her 13 years and she's a great kid.  I do think we've had it easy because she has never been difficult, but we've always been tough but fair.  

11 days ago
7/30/14
Posts: 4920

My daughter’s 18 months and testing limits. I try to reason with her (on basic terms) if she does something she isn’t supposed to. Other times I just try to re-direct her attention.

11 days ago
5/14/06
Posts: 44414

My son has been threatened with spankings but I’ve never had to do it. I’ve trained him with the three second countdown or I’ll go nuts and it works most of the time now. 

Edited: 11 days ago
5/14/06
Posts: 44415

Son is 5 and difficult. Daughter is 8 and an angel. 

11 days ago
9/27/07
Posts: 6188
2JupitersTooMany -

Son is 5 and difficult. Daughter is 8 and an angel. 

Boys will be boys... the energy at that age is insane!

11 days ago
6/30/09
Posts: 1557

I take away the thing they (at this age anyway) want most in the world, my attention. Cant stress that enough.

 

I never give them negative attention. If they misbehave, they can sit out from the fun/activities the family is doing until they're ready to follow the rules. As soon as they're ready, they're invited to participate and get positive attention.

11 days ago
7/30/14
Posts: 4923
TwoFatNuts -

I take away the thing they (at this age anyway) want most in the world, my attention. Cant stress that enough.

 

I never give them negative attention. If they misbehave, they can sit out from the fun/activities the family is doing until they're ready to follow the rules. As soon as they're ready, they're invited to participate and get positive attention.

How old are they?

11 days ago
6/30/09
Posts: 1558

For anonymity sake, we'll say boy and girl both under 9yo

11 days ago
2/15/18
Posts: 86

Tan their hides! LOL