OtherGround Forums I haven't seen my mom since I was 7

11/24/20 12:03 PM
7/29/13
Posts: 5722

I just got a call from a hospice house that she is there and she is dying. They said they don't know if she will recognize anyone but that I was her only family they could find. They asked if I would like to see her and I've decided that I will go see her. Im past all the issues I have with her and if i can maybe give a dying woman a little peace of mind before she goes then I will do it. Even though I haven't seen her in 24 years it's still hitting kind of hard right now. I never expected to ever see her again and had fully accepted that. 

11/24/20 12:11 PM
3/13/17
Posts: 10094

Fuerza, hermano!

i think you made the right choice.

11/24/20 12:12 PM
3/8/11
Posts: 6403

Damn that's rough man. DM me if you need someone to talk to

11/24/20 12:12 PM
1/1/01
Posts: 119769

Wow.

Why is it that you haven't seen her in that long, if you don't mind me asking?

11/24/20 12:13 PM
9/18/02
Posts: 3267
Wow



11/24/20 12:16 PM
1/27/12
Posts: 2108

Kind of you to see her.

11/24/20 12:18 PM
9/27/15
Posts: 661

You are a better man than me. 

11/24/20 12:19 PM
1/1/01
Posts: 7973

Sorry to hear. I think it’s great you are going to visit. 

11/24/20 12:19 PM
1/9/02
Posts: 55642

drugs?

11/24/20 12:20 PM
7/29/13
Posts: 5723

They said that they don't think she has very much time left so I'm on my way there now. It's definitely hitting me harder than I thought it would 

11/24/20 12:21 PM
1/1/01
Posts: 19880

You’re a manly man OP. Hespect.

11/24/20 12:22 PM
7/29/13
Posts: 5724
gregbrady -

drugs?

Yes after she got a divorce with my dad she got into drugs. Apparently she was homeless up untill 3 years ago when a couple brought her in and she has been living with them. 

11/24/20 12:22 PM
11/15/07
Posts: 12533

Go. I hated my biological mother for leaving us when I was 4 and my brother 2. Just this year, my oldest son asked if I knew her whereabouts (my wife's mother had just passed, the last of his grandparents that he knew). Long story short, I managed to find one of her sisters, and made contact. Found out my biological mother passed in 2015. I now regret not trying to make contact with her sooner. 

11/24/20 12:30 PM
2/5/06
Posts: 3440

You’re doing the right thing.

11/24/20 12:30 PM
1/1/01
Posts: 8494

My thoughts are with you, OP.

You made the right choice, and it couldn't have been easy.

11/24/20 12:32 PM
1/12/10
Posts: 17110

As someone whose mother left at 2, then came back at 21, only to bail again for my other siblings. 
 

Fuck her. Let her die alone and without you. She gave no fucks about your well being, don’t waste any time or effort on her. Just because she’s your mom doesn’t mean you owe her a damn thing. 
 

When I find out my mom is dying, I’m just gonna ask where my inheritance is. 

11/24/20 12:33 PM
1/1/01
Posts: 9431
Go give her some peace and you will likely get some too.
11/24/20 12:34 PM
12/29/03
Posts: 48936
Go see her. Give her some peace, even if you haven't made your peace with it. She probably has many many regrets in her life and I am sure bailing on you is the biggest one. Show her you turned out great, are a good person, and to some extent you love her and are thankful.

Give her peace.
11/24/20 12:51 PM
2/5/05
Posts: 52232

If it’s hitting you that hard, im glad to hear you’re going.

this situation is all about what you feel you should do imo. 

good luck. I hope all goes well and you get whatever you need out of this. 

11/24/20 12:58 PM
11/21/19
Posts: 4264
TFK_UGCTT_Sk1tzO420 -

As someone whose mother left at 2, then came back at 21, only to bail again for my other siblings. 
 

Fuck her. Let her die alone and without you. She gave no fucks about your well being, don’t waste any time or effort on her. Just because she’s your mom doesn’t mean you owe her a damn thing. 
 

When I find out my mom is dying, I’m just gonna ask where my inheritance is. 

Enjoy those old dildos you'll be getting.

 

Good for you OP. I hope it goes as well as it can.

11/24/20 12:59 PM
10/14/10
Posts: 15548

Good luck man. You are doing the right thing.

11/24/20 1:01 PM
12/1/03
Posts: 1351
Wow, good for you brother. You have an open heart.
11/24/20 1:01 PM
1/1/01
Posts: 67889

That's a mighty choice.

11/24/20 1:09 PM
1/12/06
Posts: 3941

My Dad took off on us when I was 11. Parents got divorced, soon after he just stopped contacting us, & moved around/changed jobs a lot to avoid paying child support. No contact in 30 years, I always figured I’d eventually get a call when he was dying, & wondered what I’d do. I said I wouldn’t care or visit, but who knows if I’d stand by that if I actually was faced with it.

Last week I found out he died in 2016. I honestly felt nothing & quickly forgot about it. I don’t feel resentment, I just see it is somebody I barely knew. 

11/24/20 1:39 PM
8/20/15
Posts: 10065

Sorry man. No matter the relationship, it's still never easy. Stay strong my friend, and good on you for this.