OtherGround Forums I just dont feel the love from my family

Edited: 12 days ago
10/19/19
Posts: 1111

So for anybody who has seen me post around here, I just have alot of love in my heart that i want to share with others. And I just dont connect with anybody in my family like that and its really sad. It just makes me so sad

I know I need to find a girlfriend to, so being single kind of sucks right now.

My Thanksgiving was spent with my mom and dad, my sister whos 42(who also lives at home with my parents), my nephew whos 17 and my brother who is 32(who also lives at home with my parents).

Then my other brother whos 30 came over with his fiance and my nephew who is 1 and a half, for desert

Luckily they came over because my little baby nephew brings such a new love to the party. It just was a very average Thanksgivingthough. I wanted to feel more love, more laughs, more stories,more fun, and I just sit here unfulfilled with Thanskgiving.

 

 

I also have a lot on my mind right now and mentally ive been a little off these last couple days though.

If you dont know I tryed out for Americas Got Talent on Saturday and out of 1500 people 42 had a second audition in front of the main producers. I was 1 of those 42.

Now I guess I wait until I get a call back if im going to go on TV

 I want to make a change in my life but right now it is a contineuos grind as well as a waiting process

I understand I have to keep grinding and keep getting my message out there to the world, but its just tough. 

I know nothing happens over night but I just know what I am capable of and the unfortunate thing is it takes time.

 

 

So I do have a radio interview lined up on a big AM station in my area next month so that I am looking forward to, and I know I just have to keep getting my self out there to the world. But I do have moments of uncertainty

Yes I am human. I feel every emotion that we can possibly feel as humans.

So I dont know what exactly Im even saying or wanting to hear back but just wanted to vent,and I know il get feedback here and that is what I am looking for, whatever is to be said, will be heard and I appreciate it all.

Thank you guys.

Love you all, and i hope you had a great Thanksgiving

12 days ago
10/19/19
Posts: 1112
Kevinbarbers1 -

So for anybody who has seen me post around here, I just have alot of love in my heart that i want to share with others. And I just dont connect with anybody in my family like that and its really sad. It just makes me so sad

I know I need to find a girlfriend, so being single kind of sucks right now.

My Thanksgiving was spent with my mom and dad, my sister whos 42(who also lives at home with my parents), my nephew whos 17 and my brother who is 32(who also lives at home with my parents).

Then my other brother whos 30 came over with his fiance and my nephew who is 1 and a half, for desert

Luckily they came over because my little baby nephew brings such a new love to the party. It just was a very average Thanksgiving. I wanted to feel more love, more laughs, more stories,more fun, and I just sit here unfulfilled with Thanskgiving.

 

 

I also have a lot on my mind right now and mentally ive been a little off these last couple days though.

If you dont know I tryed out for Americas Got Talent on Saturday and out of 1500 people 42 had a second audition in front of the main producers. I was 1 of those 42.

Now I guess I wait until I get a call back if im going to go on TV

 I want to make a change in my life but right now it is a contineuos grind as well as a waiting process

I understand I have to keep grinding and keep getting my message out there to the world, but its just tough. 

I know nothing happens over night but I just know what I am capable of and the unfortunate thing is it takes time.

 

 

So I do have a radio interview lined up on a big AM station in my area next month so that I am looking forward to, and I know I just have to keep getting my self out there to the world. But I do have moments of uncertainty

Yes I am human. I feel every emotion that we can possibly feel as humans.

So I dont know what exactly Im even saying or wanting to hear back but just wanted to vent,and I know il get feedback here and that is what I am looking for, whatever is to be said, will be heard and I appreciate it all.

Thank you guys.

Love you all, and i hope you had a great Thanksgiving

and im actually very superstitious to so for that post to be my 1111 post kind of uplifts me a little bit. (1111 make a wish)

12 days ago
3/26/13
Posts: 1428

You're not wrong to feel this way, and I'll expand on your situation to say that society as a whole has become really isolating.  What's frustrating is that people recognize it, but instead of making effort with other people they continue to do the same shit that's making them unhappy, isolated, and miserable.  So even if you've broken yourself from the anti-social trance that the modern world is captivated by, everyone else is still in it so it doesn't really help.  It's like in the movie The Matrix when Neo swallows the pill and wakes up in his slime cell or whatever the hell that thing is with everyone around him still stuck in theirs, with the small plot twist of the Neberkanezer (the ship) never showing up and now your just a slimy, pale, bald motherfucker destined to roam the post-apocalyptic hell alone.

12 days ago
10/19/19
Posts: 1113
nek -

You're not wrong to feel this way, and I'll expand on your situation to say that society as a whole has become really isolating.  What's frustrating is that people recognize it, but instead of making effort with other people they continue to do the same shit that's making them unhappy, isolated, and miserable.  So even if you've broken yourself from the anti-social trance that the modern world is captivated by, everyone else is still in it so it doesn't really help.  It's like in the movie The Matrix when Neo swallows the pill and wakes up in his slime cell or whatever the hell that thing is with everyone around him still stuck in theirs, with the small plot twist of the Neberkanezer (the ship) never showing up and now your just a slimy, pale, bald motherfucker destined to roam the post-apocalyptic hell alone.

so true man so true, ive bursted out of that and i want to take everyone with me. I wamt everyone to feel alive and loved, and life just does not work like that. It sucks. I want to be able to express my self in every way and everyone around me just having a grand ole time, and it just doesnt work out like that at all, and now i sit here just like... i dont even know just my fire is dimmed a little bit and i hate that feeling 

12 days ago
10/19/19
Posts: 1120

come on OG I came to you guys for whatever you want to say. Let me hear it.

12 days ago
11/17/10
Posts: 50648

why did you feel unfulfilled by your parents?  what did they or didnt they do for you?

 

do you think they are tired of waiting for your big break?

12 days ago
10/8/13
Posts: 3689

Keep grinding and keep working towards your dreams Kevin. One day at a time is the fastest that you can go. Don't rely solely on the AGT thing keep trying to do other things as well. It's all going to work out for you whatever happens just keep your head high and enjoy the ride. 

Edited: 12 days ago
10/19/19
Posts: 1121
In Limbo -

why did you feel unfulfilled by your parents?  what did they or didnt they do for you?

 

do you think they are tired of waiting for your big break?

no they love me  and i love them alot,they just kept telling me to come eat as i sat on the couch just kind of not feeling right mentally. And I just i dont know it just wasnt what i feel Thanksgiving should be

They do so much for me, i dont know its just hard to explain because i dont want to sound ungrateful because i am so grateful for what they do for me finincially, but emotionally and mentally we are just different, Im more emotional i feel than them and mentally i think way deeper into things and they think im crazy, so i can never have like a good conversationg without them saying the word BUT, or you're thinking to much.

It just makes me feel like im on the outside sometimes

12 days ago
3/17/03
Posts: 16927

You honestly need to save up to see a psychiatrist. Not a put down, but you need outside professional help to get things on track.

12 days ago
3/26/13
Posts: 1431
Kevinbarbers1 -
nek -

You're not wrong to feel this way, and I'll expand on your situation to say that society as a whole has become really isolating.  What's frustrating is that people recognize it, but instead of making effort with other people they continue to do the same shit that's making them unhappy, isolated, and miserable.  So even if you've broken yourself from the anti-social trance that the modern world is captivated by, everyone else is still in it so it doesn't really help.  It's like in the movie The Matrix when Neo swallows the pill and wakes up in his slime cell or whatever the hell that thing is with everyone around him still stuck in theirs, with the small plot twist of the Neberkanezer (the ship) never showing up and now your just a slimy, pale, bald motherfucker destined to roam the post-apocalyptic hell alone.

so true man so true, ive bursted out of that and i want to take everyone with me. I wamt everyone to feel alive and loved, and life just does not work like that. It sucks. I want to be able to express my self in every way and everyone around me just having a grand ole time, and it just doesnt work out like that at all, and now i sit here just like... i dont even know just my fire is dimmed a little bit and i hate that feeling 

It's cliche, and I'm not trying to give you a superiority complex, but there's a reason behind the saying "it's lonely at the top".  You've probably achieved a certain degree of self-actualization - at least in some areas of your life - that many people are far behind you in.  You see it in people's friendships where they thing being friends simply means getting hammered together and constantly being sarcastic.  

12 days ago
10/19/19
Posts: 1122
MMA Promoter1 -

Keep grinding and keep working towards your dreams Kevin. One day at a time is the fastest that you can go. Don't rely solely on the AGT thing keep trying to do other things as well. It's all going to work out for you whatever happens just keep your head high and enjoy the ride. 

thank you my friend i truly appreciate that alot. I feel I have a story worth telling and a love worth sharing.

And its the only thing i truly feel I am passionate about, showing the world my heart.

Thats all i have to really offer the world. Is love.

12 days ago
10/19/19
Posts: 1123
Onikage -

You honestly need to save up to see a psychiatrist. Not a put down, but you need outside professional help to get things on track.

i talked to several of my friends today which helped me, ive never seeked proffesional help but who knows, maybe right now is great time to do it.

12 days ago
10/8/13
Posts: 3690
Kevinbarbers1 -
In Limbo -

why did you feel unfulfilled by your parents?  what did they or didnt they do for you?

 

do you think they are tired of waiting for your big break?

no they love me  and i love them alot,they just kept telling me to come eat as a sat on the couch just kind of not feeling right mentally. And I just i dont know it just wasnt what i feel Thanksgiving should be

They do so much for me, i dont know its just hard to explain because i dont want to sound ungrateful because i am so grateful for what they do for me finincially, but emotionally and mentally we are just different, Im more emotional i feel than them and mentally i think way deeper into things and they think im crazy, so i can never have like a good conversationg without them saying the word BUT, or you're thinking to much.

It just makes me feel like im on the outside sometimes

Kevin you're an extrovert. Not all people are extroverts but it's ok because there's billions of people who are. The OG is here for you whenever you need to talk. 

12 days ago
4/17/15
Posts: 5589

Why does everyone in your family still live with your parents? 

12 days ago
10/8/13
Posts: 3691
Kevinbarbers1 -
Onikage -

You honestly need to save up to see a psychiatrist. Not a put down, but you need outside professional help to get things on track.

i talked to several of my friends today which helped me, ive never seeked proffesional help but who knows, maybe right now is great time to do it.

Honestly Kevin there's no shame in getting some mental help. Do you have insurance? You can get a therapist that you see once every two weeks or once a month and it can be a really positive thing. You should think about it.

12 days ago
3/26/13
Posts: 1432

Also, don't tell yourself you "need" to find a girlfriend.  A good woman is a nice addition to life, but at best it should be the icing on the cake, not the cake itself.  A good relationship is better than none, but a bad one is FAR worse than no relationship.  She should be a complement to your awesome life and your own sense of self worth, not the reason for it.

12 days ago
10/19/19
Posts: 1124
Co3 -

Why does everyone in your family still live with your parents? 

good fricken question. My sister suffers from bipolar and deep depression, My 31 year old brother actually came back from the peace corps about 4 months ago and he actually just got a government job in Washington DC that he is waiting on a background check to clear...

and it gets better...

I have a  50 year old brother that still lives here!

He stays at his girlfriends mothers house with his gf on the weekened but he lives here during the week and for some reason we dont get along so he gives me such an unsettling feeling in my stomach when i see him

everything is such a mess.

12 days ago
10/19/19
Posts: 1125
MMA Promoter1 -
Kevinbarbers1 -
Onikage -

You honestly need to save up to see a psychiatrist. Not a put down, but you need outside professional help to get things on track.

i talked to several of my friends today which helped me, ive never seeked proffesional help but who knows, maybe right now is great time to do it.

Honestly Kevin there's no shame in getting some mental help. Do you have insurance? You can get a therapist that you see once every two weeks or once a month and it can be a really positive thing. You should think about it.

i can defitently look into it, thank you again my man

12 days ago
4/17/15
Posts: 5590
Onikage -

You honestly need to save up to see a psychiatrist. Not a put down, but you need outside professional help to get things on track.

Also this. Just talk to a counselor for a unbiased look at where your mental well being is. Getting an outside opinion can really be helpful in understanding why you might be feeling the way you're feeling. 

12 days ago
10/19/19
Posts: 1126
nek -

Also, don't tell yourself you "need" to find a girlfriend.  A good woman is a nice addition to life, but at best it should be the icing on the cake, not the cake itself.  A good relationship is better than none, but a bad one is FAR worse than no relationship.  She should be a complement to your awesome life and your own sense of self worth, not the reason for it.

thank you for that, you are so right, and ive said to myself i want to figure out myself first before i get a girlfriend, which i feel i am on the right track right now, its just a lady friend would be very nice by my side...i have alot of girls that i talk to on instagram from all over the world, but its just not the same as physically having someone obviousley

12 days ago
10/19/19
Posts: 1127
Co3 -
Onikage -

You honestly need to save up to see a psychiatrist. Not a put down, but you need outside professional help to get things on track.

Also this. Just talk to a counselor for a unbiased look at where your mental well being is. Getting an outside opinion can really be helpful in understanding why you might be feeling the way you're feeling. 

for sure, thank you for that, that makes alot of sense....you guys are pretty miuch my therapy right now which i very much appreciate.

12 days ago
10/19/19
Posts: 1128
MMA Promoter1 -
Kevinbarbers1 -
In Limbo -

why did you feel unfulfilled by your parents?  what did they or didnt they do for you?

 

do you think they are tired of waiting for your big break?

no they love me  and i love them alot,they just kept telling me to come eat as a sat on the couch just kind of not feeling right mentally. And I just i dont know it just wasnt what i feel Thanksgiving should be

They do so much for me, i dont know its just hard to explain because i dont want to sound ungrateful because i am so grateful for what they do for me finincially, but emotionally and mentally we are just different, Im more emotional i feel than them and mentally i think way deeper into things and they think im crazy, so i can never have like a good conversationg without them saying the word BUT, or you're thinking to much.

It just makes me feel like im on the outside sometimes

Kevin you're an extrovert. Not all people are extroverts but it's ok because there's billions of people who are. The OG is here for you whenever you need to talk. 

thank you again my man, and its funny cuz i used to be an introvert, like i used to be anti social not wanting to talk, not happy with myself, so today ive grown into a different person and i just want to express all this love and have fun with everybody, and my family is just not like that, its hard to explain

12 days ago
8/15/07
Posts: 18093
I think there's a lot of pressure for holidays to live up to some sort of Norman Rockwell standard, and that's just not real life. It's important to be thankful for what you have and not lament that that the holiday isn't Hallmark-movie quality. Hang in there, OP.
12 days ago
10/19/19
Posts: 1130
Soul Gravy - I think there's a lot of pressure for holidays to live up to some sort of Norman Rockwell standard, and that's just not real life. It's important to be thankful for what you have and not lament that that the holiday isn't Hallmark-movie quality. Hang in there, OP.

true i am very grateful, i just sometimes wish i had better relaitionships with my siblings, never had true relaitionships with any of them.

12 days ago
3/26/13
Posts: 1433

I'm not trying to sound "psychiatry bad", and maybe it is the thing you need, but it's very rational to be bothered by the things that are bothering you.  There isn't something wrong with you.  You seem to have a good grasp on what makes you sad and why, and it's very reasonable to feel that way.  It's tricky belive you me I know, but you just got to audit your life, your relationships, and how your spending your body and limited time on this earth, and trying to figure out how to maximze those.  I know too many people on anti-depressants that should be changing their lives to being not shitty instead of figuring out a way to numb themselves to it.  Psychiatry may be needed, but it's too often treated as a first or second option when it should be much further down the list.