The last three years have been the worst in my life. 3 years ago I lost my mother at Christmas. My dad is 75 with health problems so my sister and moved back in with him to help. I started drinking a lot of beer at that time. 2 years ago I had a back injury that has kept me from training. The injury has finally gotten better but the motivation to train is gone. Around that same time I stopped doing stand up, started to get panic attacks at the thought of performing. 1.5 years ago I made the biggest mistake of my life by leaving my girlfriend of 6 years who was my best friend. We were fighting a little more than usual likely due to building anxiety. The bosses daughter at my work and began falling for each other. We had so much in common and it seemed like fate. She broke an engagement to this rich sandnigger and I broke up with my girl and we moved in together. We had to do everything in secret like crazy secret because her parents/the owners couldn’t find out. Tons more weirdness, she was incredibly emotionally abusive and had tons of crazy from the fact that her childhood sweetheart who they had been together for 16 years or either OD and died or killed himself in the place we were living depending on the story that day to the fact that i later find out that she never refeered to that guy as anything but a friend, During this same time two of my best friends who we were inseparable broke up with their girls and kind of dropped a grenade into our friend group.
About that same time my drinking got much worse. Less beer more whiskey then just whiskey.6-7 months ago the second relationship exploded so I quit my job there and moved companies. This was when it got terrible. Started drinking 5ths everyday, I started missing work, and started developing severe debilitating panic attacks. 2 weeks ago I was hospitalized with one but want honest about drinking, after that I started to therapy and that’s helping but I haven’t been honest with them either. Yesterday I told the truth to my family and we agreed that i need to go the hospital for a few days to medically detoxed! It’s the morning of day, feel like a loser having to do this but I am at the end of rope. I’m very hopeful for what the future holds but I’m also really scared. Just wanted to share what’s going on the world of loge.