OtherGround Forums My Suicide Note

6/10/19 12:51 AM
10/31/05
Posts: 6541
If it for you guys it would obviously go different. I don't have time for that now, but fuck Orcus.

First and foremost, Blues in! Have a few for me next game and at the parade. Almost as important, congrats to Holly and Ryan on your wedding. I wish I could have been there to celebrate with you.

I feel like this is an Oscars speech I'm rushing to get through, so I apologize for forgetting anyone. For those have have known me long (or even, just known me well) this day has probably seemed inevitable. The delicate balance of mental health, physical health, and overall life security/happiness is one I've constantly struggled to achieve. On the rare times all were good, my life was better than I could have imagined. Yet when one would slip, it would tend to bring down the others, finding me in long bouts of crumbling depression. Usually in those times I've found family and friends to lean on, but both distance and my growing tired of being a burden have added up to create a terrible situation.

Physically, things aren't pretty but they could be worse. Thursday went pretty well and while things haven't yet been working yet. there's cause to believe they would. Thanks to Kristen and Katie for our long private conversations about my butt. To you two and the hundreds (if not thousands) of other people in the medical field that have worked to help me, I'm sorry for letting you down.

To my boys.. I love you all like brothers. I love each and every weird conversation we've had, even when they were arguments. In particular, the various derivations of chat/text groups with Mikey, Sean, Jimmy, Nathan, Kenny have served as constant entertainment... and deleted today for the protection of the innocent. Josh, Pogue, Deano, Alex, Grant ...and so many more, thank you guys. Make sure the next commissioner for the Bradske is a man of upstanding quality and unsurpassed vulgarity. I'm sorry for letting you down.

To my girls (both the friend kind and the 'not talking to me' kind).. I love you all tool. The list of names are far too many but the one thing they all seem to have is a combination of beauty, intelligence, a good heart, and being far too patient with a dipshit like me. K, the irony isn't lost. Girls, I'm sorry for letting you down.

To my family. Most everyone thinks they have a great family but I would stack mine up against yours, and mine would win every time. Not a single person is not well-educated, professionally successful, fun as hell, and was able to raise a great family of their own (many of whom are now raising their own great families). It's truly humbling to think that somehow I was related to all of these people. In particular I want to thank my Grandpa for all of his teachings through years.
my aunt Beth, for going well above and beyond what anyone else would do for me. I'm glad I will no longer be an embarrassing black mark on an otherwise incredible group of people. I'm sorry for letting you down. To my brother Daniel and sis in law April) my email goes into more slightly more detail.

To everyone else on here that might not fit into one of those three categories: thank you for touching my life in some way. I see so many high school associates, college friends, parents of my friends, co-workers, random people I met while in Europe (and one less random), and a number that I honestly don't know who you are. In any case, I'm sorry for letting you down.

Finally, to my dad. Who turned down a proposal to get me out of a very unsafe environment for a single bedroom over defined short-term, with rent and household duties, I'm not-particularity sorry for letting you down.

I'll be here as long as I'm here, afterwards my FB will be attended by someone that didn't ask for the job and is welcome to hand it over (or just shut it down). J- if you want to keep it open, just make the occasion post about sports, politics, and pop culture crap. Don't sign on for a day, then sign back on and like 150 different things. Go to the True Crime pages and post off-color gifs, then apologize for them later. It's pretty simple, really.

For real though, a lot of people have gone through these things. If you have any friends like me- maybe don't chat with them ofter or check-in because it seems like everything all is well ... check in.

Not since college have I composed something so long without using a derivation of 'fuck.' Oh, fuck.

With love,
Church
6/10/19 12:53 AM
9/3/18
Posts: 698

Do not do this. Things will be better tomorrow

6/10/19 12:53 AM
4/17/13
Posts: 10935

Anybody know this guy well enough to call a wellness check? Mods? Don't do it man.

6/10/19 12:55 AM
10/31/05
Posts: 6542
No need, I am not well
6/10/19 12:55 AM
6/17/17
Posts: 16
Sounds like you have some things going for you. Don't do this, you will be hurting those closest to you.
6/10/19 12:55 AM
1/1/01
Posts: 5203

Man not tonight, lets talk this out!

6/10/19 12:57 AM
9/3/18
Posts: 699

Come on man, think of all the people who love you. You can get through this with help. The OG is here and lots of people are

6/10/19 12:58 AM
6/17/17
Posts: 17
Benn you there?
6/10/19 12:58 AM
10/5/11
Posts: 3127

You're loved and you matter dude! You're needed. You wouldn't be here if you weren't. Find your will. 

6/10/19 12:59 AM
10/31/05
Posts: 6543
maqisbaq - Benn you there?

yes. I dun that.
6/10/19 12:59 AM
2/4/07
Posts: 29297
Gawddamn dude. You have so many people you just listed and you're going to do this to them? Give one of them a call. Hell, give them all a call.
Edited: 6/10/19 2:58 AM
4/17/13
Posts: 10936
Benntheredunthat - No need, I am not well

No shit man, which is why you can't act on this. You're not thinking clearly. So many people deal with these thoughts and get past it. Don't become a statistic, you can get past it too. Go to the hospital man, get some help. Don't do it like this.

6/10/19 1:02 AM
6/17/17
Posts: 18
It took me a few seconds to get that one, bear with me I'm slow. You seem like an intelligent guy, with my kind of sense of humor. Would you do like the fellow said above? Call someone and talk to them?
6/10/19 1:03 AM
11/16/08
Posts: 15589

FRAT

6/10/19 1:04 AM
9/10/13
Posts: 2890

Please do not end your life. You are going to crush so many people. Its the worst thing u can do to people you love. 

6/10/19 1:04 AM
12/30/18
Posts: 58

Hang in there brother.  You are loved and cared for.  All bad things will pass.

6/10/19 1:05 AM
9/17/14
Posts: 851

Please do not do this.  There can be far better days ahead for you if you give it a chance.  Please seek help immediately.  Go to a hospital. Call 911, call a friend.  This is not the solution.

6/10/19 1:06 AM
2/4/07
Posts: 29298
OP listed his phone number as:

650-207-6665


in this thread.

https://www.mixedmartialarts.com/forums/OtherGround/Drunk-as-fruck-who-wants-to-call-me:2771547-1
6/10/19 1:06 AM
1/1/01
Posts: 5204

How did you let aunt Beth down?   Start telling us man! As much as this place jumps on people we are just as fast to help those in need!

6/10/19 1:07 AM
5/22/05
Posts: 22777
Middleman747 -

Do not do this. Things will be better tomorrow

 

6/10/19 1:12 AM
7/15/11
Posts: 12399

Well fuck... Don’t do this.

6/10/19 1:13 AM
5/10/08
Posts: 45360

Dude... please don't do this.  It will get better.

You are our OG Brother.

We care about you man

6/10/19 1:14 AM
12/18/10
Posts: 11203

Does anyone know where this guy lives? Someone please call the police

6/10/19 1:15 AM
1/1/01
Posts: 10734

A permanent solution to a temporary problem. 

 

Inside your head are thoughts, good & bad. Feed the good ones no matter how addictive the self-pity ones feel.

 

Time is relative & heals all wounds. It's the negative self-talk that will slow the healing.

6/10/19 1:17 AM
5/23/07
Posts: 16684
Please don't do this