OtherGround Forums My buddy's wife cheated on him (FRAT).

5/17/19 8:31 PM
8/19/03
Posts: 27539

And wants a divorce.   They've been together for probably ten years or so, married for 4.  He found out for sure this past Saturday night at a party he threw for her 30th birthday when he picked up her phone accidentally thinking it was his (they have the same exact model) and saw the damning evidence. He's been a wreck all week at work (we work together), and it all melted down last night.

 

Now, she's with the other guy, I assume, and he's completely broken.   I visited him this morning and at his request,  took all of his guns.  They just moved into an awesome new house in March, which their renting from his best friend, but there's no way he or she could afford that on their own, so his housing situation is now fucked and uncertain,  too.  Not to mention,  just the sheer hurt and humiliation of it happening.

 

I actually feel dirty and ashamed to even be peripherally involved in the situation.  I'm just completely disgusted with how people can be sometimes. 

 

I don't even know why I'm posting this here.  I guess it's a way to process it.  I've been thinking a lot since this all happened last night and have gained some real perspective today about what grudges and bullshit we think is really important and what stuff actually is important. 

 

I guess there's no real "big finish" or punchline to this thread, just a few thoughts.  If you are currently or are flirting with the idea of being dishonest in your relationships and are reading this, I want you to consider the damage that shit causes both to the victim and those who surround.   If you don't want to be with someone any more, be a man about it and come clean.

Edited: 5/17/19 8:32 PM
3/10/03
Posts: 31462
WaltJ - 

   If you don't want to be with someone any more, be a man about it and come clean.

Or "woman" about it, apparently, amirite?

5/17/19 8:35 PM
10/14/03
Posts: 29249
Sincognito - 
WaltJ - 

   If you don't want to be with someone any more, be a man about it and come clean.

Or "woman" about it, apparently, amirite?


Quit assuming peoples gender faggot.
5/17/19 8:36 PM
8/19/03
Posts: 27540
Sincognito -
WaltJ - 

   If you don't want to be with someone any more, be a man about it and come clean.

Or "woman" about it, apparently, amirite?

You are 100% right,  my friend.  Especially given the circumstances. 

5/17/19 8:36 PM
8/19/03
Posts: 27541
GenErick -
Sincognito - 
WaltJ - 

   If you don't want to be with someone any more, be a man about it and come clean.

Or "woman" about it, apparently, amirite?


Quit assuming peoples gender faggot.

Haha I love the OG.

5/17/19 8:37 PM
5/23/07
Posts: 16347
That sucks OP. Keep being there for him and let him know things will get better
5/17/19 8:37 PM
1/1/01
Posts: 19125
I'm friends with an ex who threw away 17 years of marriage because she realized she wanted more dick than her husband could give her. It's been an ongoing saga for the last three years, with hubby finally finding out last year when he cracked open her phone (and found the pics and texts she's been sending to other dudes). Now they're separated and divorcing, and she's sad about what her two young kids are going through (while doing threesomes with her other divorcee friends and their much younger boyfriends).

So yeah, I feel for your friend. Especially since I'm seeing from the female's perspective.
5/17/19 8:37 PM
4/6/19
Posts: 192

really shitty situation

5/17/19 8:37 PM
5/23/07
Posts: 16348
GenErick - 
Sincognito - 
WaltJ - 

   If you don't want to be with someone any more, be a man about it and come clean.

Or "woman" about it, apparently, amirite?


Quit assuming peoples gender faggot.

this too
5/17/19 8:37 PM
2/25/15
Posts: 3866

If there are no kids involved, your buddy should count that as a blessing. 

 

He should also lawyer up immediately.

5/17/19 8:41 PM
7/2/07
Posts: 13130


Same thing happened to a friend/fellow I used to work with.


I saw a picture of him the other day and he looks like he has aged 10 years in several months.


Can't believe he has taken her back in.


Her deal was apparently going on for more than a year and a half. Plus it is not the first time.
5/17/19 8:44 PM
8/19/03
Posts: 27542
siouxNYC - I'm friends with an ex who threw away 17 years of marriage because she realized she wanted more dick than her husband could give her. It's been an ongoing saga for the last three years, with hubby finally finding out last year when he cracked open her phone (and found the pics and texts she's been sending to other dudes). Now they're separated and divorcing, and she's sad about what her two young kids are going through (while doing threesomes with her other divorcee friends and their much younger boyfriends).

So yeah, I feel for your friend. Especially since I'm seeing from the female's perspective.

Ugh. 

 

The one positive (is that even the right term?) is that luckily, there's no kids or even major assets at stake (again, they don't own the house), so at there's not that element. 

 

But man, he's got a long road ahead.   She doesn't want anything to do with it and is finished, and he wants to try to fix it. 

 

It's a sad situation. 

5/17/19 8:49 PM
1/21/14
Posts: 6466

That is really shitty OP. The worst part is your buddy is a wreck and he doesn't even realize how much better off he will be in a year from now. He will find a much better woman that he deserves. This will end up being the best thing that ever happened to him. Fuck her.

5/17/19 8:49 PM
9/23/07
Posts: 78547
GTL


GYM TAN LAWYER.

Earth isnt about to run out of holes to fuck anytime soon.
Edited: 5/17/19 8:53 PM
8/19/03
Posts: 27543
williepep -

Same thing happened to a friend/fellow I used to work with.


I saw a picture of him the other day and he looks like he has aged 10 years in several months.


Can't believe he has taken her back in.


Her deal was apparently going on for more than a year and a half. Plus it is not the first time.

Personally,  I would hate to see this happen.   I'm trying my best to just remain level headed and objective and not get dragged into the chaos.  This shit is like a fog of war. I think its important to have someone you can trust who isn't down in the weeds with you in these types of situations. 

 

Me personally,  I would burn it all down and list her as "dead", but it's not me, and it's not my place to say anything. I don't even want to offer my opinion or insights so as to cause any influence.   This is between them.

 

I just hope that a year or so from now, I'm not saying the same thing about him as you're saying about your coworker.  But again, that's not for me to decide.  If they can reconcile and fix it,  then so be it.   Me personally,  I don't give a fuck what your excuse is or what rationalization you're bringing to the table, pack that bullshit up right along with the rest of your stuff as you leave.   Not even interested in hearing it. 

5/17/19 8:58 PM
8/19/03
Posts: 27544
comeonman1 -

That is really shitty OP. The worst part is your buddy is a wreck and he doesn't even realize how much better off he will be in a year from now. He will find a much better woman that he deserves. This will end up being the best thing that ever happened to him. Fuck her.

I hope so, man.  I even said the se thing this morning.   Told him this was hardly the time for pep talks or inspirational banter and that it was going to be fucking hard.  I just told him to try to win the next minute.   Win the next hour.  Take a shower.  Get a haircut.  Do 10 push ups.   Go for a bike ride.  Fix something on the car.  Literally just try to be 1% better than you were when you woke up.

5/17/19 9:03 PM
2/19/14
Posts: 5098

But it not just between them, he brought you into the fold. Be the friend he needs, and slap some sense into him. He needs to realize it's over. Help him make a clean break. She's with someone else. Make him see that, and help him move on. If he's not already,  get him in a gym. They don't have a house or kids, so divorce should be fairly easy to navigate.  He needs to cut all ties with her, remove her from any and ALL social media he uses. Sure, he can grieve,  but don't allow him to wallow in his pity.

Help him realize it's over, it's finished.  

Like i said, get him exercising,  better himself,  eventually, get him laid.

In a year, he'll be happier than he's ever been.

Also, good on you getting his guns, and good on him realizing he was having stupid thoughts. 

And above all else,

POST SOME PICS OF THE WHORAH ON THE OG!!!

5/17/19 9:05 PM
1/1/01
Posts: 13284
I went through something VERY similar - to your friend - nearly 14 years ago. One of the best things that ever happened to me. I not only got rid of the unfaithful bitch, but realized several different ways that I could improve myself.

It was painful, but worth it in the end. My ex knows how well I'm doing and how happy I now am - and it fucking eats away at her black soul.
5/17/19 9:10 PM
8/15/07
Posts: 15501
Have we learned nothing from rap songs?

Can't trust none of these bitches. Stop catching feels.
5/17/19 9:22 PM
2/13/16
Posts: 3950

Is he in good shape/good looking?

Make a point to take him to the gym with you every morning, get him to lose ten lbs.  Just the exercise in the am will make him feel better but his confidence will go up a lot if he starts to become more attractive as well.  Then take him out on the weekends.  Clean break and move on.

5/17/19 9:30 PM
4/22/07
Posts: 67944
Soul Gravy - Have we learned nothing from rap songs?

Can't trust none of these bitches. Stop catching feels.

We dont luv them hoes, nigga

5/17/19 9:30 PM
7/2/07
Posts: 13131
Darth Potato - 

Is he in good shape/good looking?

Make a point to take him to the gym with you every morning, get him to lose ten lbs.  Just the exercise in the am will make him feel better but his confidence will go up a lot if he starts to become more attractive as well.  Then take him out on the weekends.  Clean break and move on.


This sounds like some old school friend stuff here.


Are you from the 80s ?


And not bad advice.
Edited: 5/17/19 9:32 PM
7/24/16
Posts: 3835
WaltJ -

And wants a divorce.   They've been together for probably ten years or so, married for 4.  He found out for sure this past Saturday night at a party he threw for her 30th birthday when he picked up her phone accidentally thinking it was his (they have the same exact model) and saw the damning evidence. He's been a wreck all week at work (we work together), and it all melted down last night.

 

Now, she's with the other guy, I assume, and he's completely broken.   I visited him this morning and at his request,  took all of his guns.  They just moved into an awesome new house in March, which their renting from his best friend, but there's no way he or she could afford that on their own, so his housing situation is now fucked and uncertain,  too.  Not to mention,  just the sheer hurt and humiliation of it happening.

 

I actually feel dirty and ashamed to even be peripherally involved in the situation.  I'm just completely disgusted with how people can be sometimes. 

 

I don't even know why I'm posting this here.  I guess it's a way to process it.  I've been thinking a lot since this all happened last night and have gained some real perspective today about what grudges and bullshit we think is really important and what stuff actually is important. 

 

I guess there's no real "big finish" or punchline to this thread, just a few thoughts.  If you are currently or are flirting with the idea of being dishonest in your relationships and are reading this, I want you to consider the damage that shit causes both to the victim and those who surround.   If you don't want to be with someone any more, be a man about it and come clean.

Fucked up story and I've seen this happen way too often. Once women start flirting with the idea of being unfaithful there's almost no going back for them. It's despicable and the one that always ends up getting fucked is the man. That's why women continue to do it- why not if you'll get the house, custody of the kids, child support and alimony? It's really sickening. Only part I don't believe is the whole accidentally mistaking his wife's phone for his and just happening to see the incriminating evidence right then and there part. Your friend suspected something and was going through her phone. I don't blame him. I don't see why he wouldn't just say as much though. Maybe he's embarrassed, who knows. What a shitty ordeal.

5/17/19 9:34 PM
9/12/05
Posts: 7033
Cell phones and social media have women into the kind of whores you don’t even want to be with.
5/17/19 9:35 PM
4/6/19
Posts: 198
ShanTheMan -
Soul Gravy - Have we learned nothing from rap songs?

Can't trust none of these bitches. Stop catching feels.

We dont luv them hoes, nigga