OtherGround Forums Never. Get. Married.... NEVER.

7 days ago
1/1/01
Posts: 3139
Some of you may remember my thread "wife cheated. 100k where do I go?" At least I think that was the name of the thread. I can't find it now.

Short story, my wife of 20 years became addicted to having sex with strangers. I know of at least 5 guys and one woman she had sex with. She's never come clean on just how bad things got. Many of you thought I was trolling. I wasn't. All this went down when we had two teen daughters in the house.

After some depression, suicidal thoughts, meds and a fuck ton of alcohol I'm in a better place now. But it has gotten me thinking about marriage.

Without getting into the details, I got FUCKED in the divorce. I live in a state where there is no fault assigned. So the fact that it was HER who was sleeping around meant nothing to the courts. All I got was a check for $11,000. The camp on a lake that my mother helped us buy and the business we ran. ( the business was more of a sentence than an award to me. It just means I get to work for the rest of my life and send her checks!)

Anyway.... Why do we even get married anymore? Why would you enter into a contract that is absolutely going to fuck you in the ass on the way out? Everyone KNOWS the courts favor women in these proceedings.

If you have not watched the movie "The Red Pill" go watch it NOW.

Anyway.... I know what some of you are thinking..

"Critical 13, MY girl and I found true love."
No you didn't, SHE found security in your ability to provide for her. Once you stop providing for her she is leaving you and you'll be sending her checks till you die. Fuck even if you ARE providing for her (We were WELL into the upper middle class) she is still going to cheat and leave you.

"Critical 13, I'm religious and our love is blessed by God. She wouldn't leave me."
Yes she will. You are retarded to think otherwise.

"Ok Critical 13, even if we get divorced, my girl is super cool and just wouldn't do that to me. I just know she wouldn't".
Yes she will. She's going to fuck you in the ass (financially) harder than you can possibly imagine.

"Hmmm Critical 13, you seem bitter"
Fuck yes I'm bitter. Look what happened to me. The only thing I can do now for some solace in this situation is be with my girls as much as I can and prevent YOU from making the same mistake.

We as MEN must end this outdated and unfair social construct. If you found a girl and she won't date you because you won't get married... move along. I'm currently dating a girl (also divorced) and she agrees, marriage is bad idea.

I'm back on my feet financially thanks to some good cryto investments in the past year. I have a house about 7 miles from hers and I see the girls pretty often. I'm depressed often but my mind doesn't go to those really dark places anymore. I still drink a fuckton, my cholesterol is sky fucking high, and last time my blood pressure was taken it was so high the nurse was aghast.

I'm 50. Don't make the mistakes I did. Never. Get. Married....NEVER.
7 days ago
12/26/19
Posts: 1669

Also, water is wet.

7 days ago
6/27/05
Posts: 30828

Marriage is temporary for people these days - the laws should be changed to reflect that.

7 days ago
12/22/10
Posts: 27870

You're the Yin to Holly9000's Yang. 

He likes seeing other dudes throw their sausage in her ham wallet. 

But yeah, marriage is almost never a good idea for men. 

7 days ago
1/1/01
Posts: 26851

I've learned, though many tough life situations that, as cliche AF as it is to say, "never say never". You really do *not* know what might ever happen.

THAT SAID - you can sure as shit bet your ass that I am NEVER getting married again.

7 days ago
7/1/15
Posts: 34669

Yeah see I can never fully trust a woman lol at least I don’t think I could. Shit like this thread just makes me think eventually any girl I’m with will eventually find a guy better than me and she’ll cheat. It’s way too easy to cheat these days 

I just don’t see the point of marriage. Why get the government involved in our love life it’s a joke

now Im also a 27 year old who’s never had a GF before or even been on a first date so maybe I’m just an incel or whatever lol  

7 days ago
1/11/17
Posts: 1498

You are talking to these bitter old bastards like they are 20 year olds that ain't had a woman already wreck their lives. Sobering shit though.

Edited: 7 days ago
9/5/11
Posts: 41616

Your ex-wife was a selfish slut who chose cock over family unity. The danger of attempting a life with another is that other might be a selfish cock whore like your daughters’ mother. Many aren’t. 

I have to hope your children aren’t making this easy for her. Sorry you drew a whore. 

7 days ago
11/17/10
Posts: 58572

luckily for me, my wife is actually "a good one", comes from a hard working family and works, is hot, etc...

 

 

 

and most importantly

 

she makes and is worth more $$ than me!

 

tee hee

7 days ago
7/15/14
Posts: 590

I am 44 this year. Never married and never will get married. And whenever a woman tries to pressure me into marriage I cut her loose immediately. 
 

for all of you young guys out there:  having financial stability, being in great shape and doing whatever you want when you want and not living with a female is the greatest blessing you could ever have. 

7 days ago
1/2/20
Posts: 3063

No offense, but your wife being addicted to sleeping with random strangers is quite odd and unusual. You picked the wrong one buddy. Let me guess, she was a freak in the sheets? There mustve been signs prior that you failed to pick up on. She doesnt sound very smart to be behaving like that or must be callous in some way. Ive broke it off with really hot, really sexual women becuase there was something amiss. Little cunty comments, social things that rubbed me the wrong way. You really have to be super picky when choosing a mate and dont settle for someone who you dont find ideal. Obviously the risk is ending up alone if you want to be super picky but as soon as I detect any level of cuntiness in a woman, it's an instant "See ya!"

7 days ago
1/1/01
Posts: 108696

Easy there DaveFu, it's going to be ok!

7 days ago
12/4/12
Posts: 899
In Limbo -

luckily for me, my wife is actually "a good one", comes from a hard working family and works, is hot, etc...

 

 

 

and most importantly

 

she makes and is worth more $$ than me!

 

tee hee

Does she have a sister??

7 days ago
3/25/14
Posts: 763

The key to keeping a good woman is for you to be the cheating asshole. Women love that shit.

7 days ago
1/1/01
Posts: 3140
I'd also like to add that never getting married does not mean never having kids. My two daughters are awesome and have brought me so much joy over the years.

NOTE: They know what my ex did and it has probably emotionally scarred them in ways we can not see yet. But I'm doing my best to be the best Dad I can.
7 days ago
10/20/10
Posts: 6503

PIcs of ex wife so we can judge these ludicrous decisions.

7 days ago
11/17/10
Posts: 58574
DubD -
In Limbo -

luckily for me, my wife is actually "a good one", comes from a hard working family and works, is hot, etc...

 

 

 

and most importantly

 

she makes and is worth more $$ than me!

 

tee hee

Does she have a sister??

2 of them

the younger is happily married

the older is a surgeon who actually divorced a couple years ago and got fucked up her ass with alimony and leaving him their home which she paid for in full at the time (amongst other things)

but she just got engaged to another fellow surgeon las tmonth

Edited: 7 days ago
12/10/09
Posts: 23802

She paid you, but you got screwed? I’d need more details before agreeing on this. I haven’t seen a lot of guys that walk away getting 11k, ownership of a lake house and ownership of the business. 

If you hate the business, sell it and give the ex her share and move on. 

7 days ago
6/22/03
Posts: 8620
In Limbo - 

luckily for me, my wife is actually "a good one", comes from a hard working family and works, is hot, etc...

 

 

 

and most importantly

 

she makes and is worth more $$ than me!

 

tee hee


Same. Mine is Latina, has an incredible work ethic, is smart, is a great mother to our kids, has my back no matter what, and makes more $$ than me (although we are both doing just fine as a double lawyer family). I can't imagine marrying someone who would be an anchor around your neck. But most of us marry relatively young when we are still idealistic morons. Some of us get lucky, most do not. Unless your girlfriend is like my girl or Limbo's girl, keep her as a "girlfriend", not a wife. When it comes to marriage, think with your head, not your heart or dick. I went with my heart, but I know I am just lucky that it happened to be a quality woman. Maybe it's not totally luck, but yeah, still lots of luck.

Sorry to hear about your misfortune, OP.

7 days ago
2/11/14
Posts: 4408
Vegito Blue -

Yeah see I can never fully trust a woman lol at least I don’t think I could. Shit like this thread just makes me think eventually any girl I’m with will eventually find a guy better than me and she’ll cheat. It’s way too easy to cheat these days 

I just don’t see the point of marriage. Why get the government involved in our love life it’s a joke

now Im also a 27 year old who’s never had a GF before or even been on a first date so maybe I’m just an incel or whatever lol  

Jesus brother. Ignore this sad old fuck, get off the internet, go outside and meet a woman.

Edited: 7 days ago
12/26/05
Posts: 50644

I wont say "dont get married"

 

What I will say is the only reason to get married is currently children, and the possibility of grandchildren after that.

 

Even then, you need to understand the level of risk you are taking.  

 

All these things are true for the significant majority of marriages that end in divorce:

The woman will file for the divorce.  In the case of children present in the home this is much higher, but all I have is a few county evidences to suggest how high it really is...perhaps as high at 90, and 70 nationally across the board not considering kids.

 

You will lose financially in court.

 

You will fail to win custody.

 

You will pay for her lawyer bills.

 

Also things that are excessively inconvenient for men in marriage:  anger at the unfair settlements or treatment will frequently be seen as your fault by friends and family.

If young children are involved, your children are statistically more likely to suffer about every social ill that plagues society if you are not adequately in their lives.

Frequently men will be trapped by financial responsibility that bars them from future endeavors in life.

You have the possibility in many states to be removed from your own home via restraining order with virtually zero evidence you did anything wrong at all...short of choosing to get married in the first place.

If your wife decided to cheat on you and has a child that isnt yours, in very many circumstances you will end up financially responsible for it.

 

Frequently even on the losing side of custody cases, you will have severe difficulties making your spouse to hold up arrangements if she decides not to, and nearly all acts revolving around transfer of the kids will be on her terms.

 

 

If you dont plan on having children dont get married.  If, in having children, you arent willing to face a 1/2 chance of the likely things I've mentioned happening, or an outside chance of the secondary things happening I mentioned...well dont get married.

 

If you read all this and you are willing to roll those dice for the possibility of kids and a family, I cannot say you are wrong at all. This is a choice made by judging your propensity for risk vs that what most of the human population finds most important.

Just make sure you really understand those risks, and see that choice with clear eyes before you make it.

7 days ago
9/27/12
Posts: 4648
Vegito Blue -

Yeah see I can never fully trust a woman lol at least I don’t think I could. Shit like this thread just makes me think eventually any girl I’m with will eventually find a guy better than me and she’ll cheat. It’s way too easy to cheat these days 

I just don’t see the point of marriage. Why get the government involved in our love life it’s a joke

now Im also a 27 year old who’s never had a GF before or even been on a first date so maybe I’m just an incel or whatever lol  

Are you really 27 and never had a gf or forst date? No way, right? That deserves its own thread if so

7 days ago
12/26/05
Posts: 50645

I will also say, do not cohabitate with a woman in a common law marriage state unless she is much better off than you are (unless of course there is children involved already and then you might as well get married, since you're pretty much 98% in that boat anyway.)

 

Never get pressured into kids if you arent 100% sure.  Never get pressured into marriage unless you are 100% sure you want both the marriage and family.  Never marry a woman who isnt sure if she wants kids 100%.  Never get squeezed into cohabitation with a woman in a common law Marriage state if you arent reasonably certain you will marry this woman and have children sometime in the next 5 years.

7 days ago
8/4/20
Posts: 666

This is an extremely bitter place.

7 days ago
11/17/10
Posts: 58577
Lazarus -
In Limbo - 

luckily for me, my wife is actually "a good one", comes from a hard working family and works, is hot, etc...

 

 

 

and most importantly

 

she makes and is worth more $$ than me!

 

tee hee


Same. Mine is Latina, has an incredible work ethic, is smart, is a great mother to our kids, has my back no matter what, and makes more $$ than me (although we are both doing just fine as a double lawyer family). I can't imagine marrying someone who would be an anchor around your neck. But most of us marry relatively young when we are still idealistic morons. Some of us get lucky, most do not. Unless your girlfriend is like my girl or Limbo's girl, keep her as a "girlfriend", not a wife. When it comes to marriage, think with your head, not your heart or dick. I went with my heart, but I know I am just lucky that it happened to be a quality woman. Maybe it's not totally luck, but yeah, still lots of luck.

Sorry to hear about your misfortune, OP.

Yup

 

I think this general consensus about guys getting screwed in divorce comes with the assumption that the husband is the breadwinner or makes wayyyy more than the wife.

 

I know lots of hard working married couples with kids

Some are relatively in the same ballpark, earnings wise, others have large discrepancies....but the fact that both work makes a difference

 

Bonus if your wife and you both work, but your wife earns a bit more

Then us guys dont hace to worry about getting screwed that way

 

Unless im missing something which still forces the guy to suffer even if he makes less than his wife