Member Since: 2/24/16
Hey all, no not a troll account, been lurking since 05, and I bet some of you have seen me compete/fight before from a certain Southwest state. Y'all have helped me so many times whether it be a joke or learning some new shit in a field I could never make it in.
Anyhow, I had to put my boy down last night and it's fucking ripping me apart. He was 12-14, I adopted him when he was 6-8. Well yesterday he got out as I was putting up Christmas lights I guess, that's the only thing I can think of while I used the restroom. I was still putting up Christmas lights when my wife got home a couple hours. An hour later I went and got us dinner. I get home from dinner and then we notice where is Tank? Look all over the yards, nothing. He has a heart murmur, hip dysplasia and breathing problems, couldn't of got far. I tell my wife get in the car and look, I'll go on foot with our other dog, during this time my wife called the cops asking if they had any calls matching Tanks description. We're separate out looking for an hour and I know most my neighbors, no avail. Then the cops call me, someone called in matching his description 1/2 mile away. Call my wife and we jet it. There he is in the road, this guy had fed and watered him but he's beyond exhausted. I thank him a hundred times over and am so happy to get our boy home. We get home, kid and wife get out, (he was at my kid's feet) I know he's in a lot of pain so I go to pick him up and he latches onto my hand leaving two bullet points. I've NEVER had behavior problems with this dog, so I dress my new wound and give him some minutes, I know the very least he's stressed and really hurting. I come back, I go to just pet him and he lashes again. Fuck, we have a young kid and that's where my head goes. I drive a block up to the 24hr vet, tell them everything and that it may be time. It'll be a 30 minute wait, ok. I leave after 20 minutes drive the 1 minute back to my house, I can't do this I know him and he's happy to have me pet him again. We pull up, I go to pick him up, tries to tag me again (fuck), I get in the front seat again and he's lashing, I tell him it's ok and he lays back down. Back to the fucking vet. Vet comes out I tell her everything, she comes out, he gets out for her, in we go. She gives him first shot which should put him out. Nope, he's on my feet and pacing around looking and wanting to go home, fucking fuck me. I delay, I run every fucking situation through my head but what if he did that to our family bc the pain he's in? I can't make a fucking decision and I don't want to give up on him, God damnit. What if we put him in the front seat that was easier? Can I give him to my mom? No, she cant control him, he's too old to have another life with anyone else. Fuck what the fuck. 2/3 hours pass I make the call. The fucking sedatives never put him to sleep. The first of two last shots he's trying to throw up , gasping , a few minutes later last shot, stethoscope... He's passed. Me bawling. I feel I let him down in so many ways, I knew it was coming and had a plan for it to be at home. Instead bc of my mistake he spent all day roaming and didn't get to leave with his family. Fuck. I have to pick him up tomorrow morning (in a fucking cardboard box apparently) and take him to be cremated. I'm not really religious and this just all seems the shittiest of shit, not how it should of been. I rescued him 6 years ago and he's always protected my girls. Cried my ass off today thus far too. Fuck this shit
TLDR : WELL I DON'T CARE