OtherGround Forums Really Fu***** down, lost my BF

Edited: 24 days ago
2/24/16
Posts: 2

Hey all, no not a troll account, been lurking since 05, and I bet some of you have seen me compete/fight before from a certain Southwest state. Y'all have helped me so many times whether it be a joke or learning some new shit in a field I could never make it in. 

Anyhow, I had to put my boy down last night and it's fucking ripping me apart. He was 12-14, I adopted him when he was 6-8. Well yesterday he got out as I was putting up Christmas lights I guess, that's the only thing I can think of while I used the restroom. I was still putting up Christmas lights when my wife got home a couple hours. An hour later I went and got us dinner. I get home from dinner and then we notice where is Tank? Look all over the yards, nothing. He has a heart murmur, hip dysplasia and breathing problems, couldn't of got far. I tell my wife get in the car and look, I'll go on foot with our other dog, during this time my wife called the cops asking if they had any calls matching Tanks description. We're separate out looking for an hour and I know most my neighbors, no avail. Then the cops call me, someone called in matching his description 1/2 mile away. Call my wife and we jet it. There he is in the road, this guy had fed and watered him but he's beyond exhausted. I thank him a hundred times over and am so happy to get our boy home. We get home, kid and wife get out, (he was at my kid's feet) I know he's in a lot of pain so I go to pick him up and he latches onto my hand leaving two bullet points. I've NEVER had behavior problems with this dog, so I dress my new wound and give him some minutes, I know the very least he's stressed and really hurting. I come back, I go to just pet him and he lashes again. Fuck, we have a young kid and that's where my head goes. I drive a block up to the 24hr vet, tell them everything and that it may be time. It'll be a 30 minute wait, ok. I leave after 20 minutes drive the 1 minute back to my house, I can't do this I know him and he's happy to have me pet him again. We pull up, I go to pick him up, tries to tag me again (fuck), I get in the front seat again and he's lashing, I tell him it's ok and he lays back down. Back to the fucking vet. Vet comes out I tell her everything, she comes out, he gets out for her, in we go. She gives him first shot which should put him out. Nope, he's on my feet and pacing around looking and wanting to go home, fucking fuck me. I delay, I run every fucking situation through my head but what if he did that to our family bc the pain he's in? I can't make a fucking decision and I don't want to give up on him, God damnit. What if we put him in the front seat that was easier? Can I give him to my mom? No, she cant control him, he's too old to have another life with anyone else. Fuck what the fuck. 2/3 hours pass I make the call. The fucking sedatives never put him to sleep. The first of two last shots he's trying to throw up , gasping , a few minutes later last shot, stethoscope... He's passed. Me bawling.  I feel I let him down in so many ways, I knew it was coming and had a plan for it to be at home. Instead bc of my mistake he spent all day roaming and didn't get to leave with his family. Fuck. I have to pick him up tomorrow morning (in a fucking cardboard box apparently) and take him to be cremated. I'm not really religious and this just all seems the shittiest of shit, not how it should of been. I rescued him 6 years ago and he's always protected my girls. Cried my ass off today thus far too. Fuck this shit 

 

TLDR : WELL I DON'T CARE

 

24 days ago
3/20/15
Posts: 13460

FRAT....stop fucking dudes......

24 days ago
2/15/06
Posts: 23528
so sorry for your loss friend. You gave him a good home and a lot of love for many years. That's all a dog can ask for in this life. You did good by him.

RIP Tank
24 days ago
11/19/09
Posts: 4918

That is a tough story to read. I hate that for you man.

24 days ago
1/1/01
Posts: 114977

Sorry to hear this.

RIP Tank

24 days ago
12/15/11
Posts: 27349

Hoping you get better.

24 days ago
3/31/14
Posts: 9778

Sorry to hear mate. Life is a fucker sometimes.

RIP Tank

24 days ago
2/24/16
Posts: 3

My wife says he knew, that's why he snuck out for a last round. Idk if she's just saying that to make me feel better or really thinks that. Regardless I just feel the weight of him on myshoulders bc things could of gone so much different had I not left the door open for a minute. He had never left before either. Fuck. And then I think he made it that far how much pain could he really be in?? A hundred questions that will never get answered bc of how this all went.

Thank you for the thank yous sincerely 

24 days ago
2/24/16
Posts: 4

Just drove by where his body is ( as I said it's a a block away from me) bc the cremation place isn't open till tomorrow. So much anger, sadness, depression, and guilt. I have his collar on my nightstand that still has his scent 

24 days ago
11/19/09
Posts: 4920

Don't question yourself. Dogs often want to die off alone. They will venture off if they know it's about to happen. 
 

also putting him down was the right thing to do. When my rottie died 2 years ago, he had cancer and was in awful shape. I was gonna take him on the next Monday to get put down, but it was a Sunday. I laid in the floor with him for hours and it was the hardest thing ever. Worst part was when I got up to go to the bathroom he always followed me in their. Everyday his whole life. He tried getting up and couldn't....2 years ago and it still damn near makes me cry. It's rough brother. 
 

I did wish I took him that Friday to be put down. No reason he should've suffered like that but I was selfish and wanted another weekend with him. 

24 days ago
10/5/04
Posts: 2044

the sadness you show here shows you loved him very much. He’s happy he had a great life. People get demintia and don’t remember friends. Your dog may have not been rightminded. I’m sure it wasn’t the real him that nipped you. 
Maybe his favorite blanket to cover ghe box or favorite toy to out next to him  

 

Edited: 24 days ago
3/15/06
Posts: 22390
 

Seriously, that's the first thing I thought too, he went out to have fun and was just going to keep going until he dropped over. 

24 days ago
2/24/16
Posts: 5

Yeah that's what I was thinking Renzo, I was also also thinking about taking my other dog with me tomorrow so she could get closure, but he's in a fucking cardboard box idk. She's looking around for him and knows something is fucked .  Meanwhile my daughter will be asking soon but not old enough to wrap her head around it

24 days ago
7/30/14
Posts: 4863

You did the right thing for him and your family. Remember the good times.

24 days ago
12/2/05
Posts: 84887

Dusty in here. Sorry op. 

24 days ago
3/8/11
Posts: 5439

I feel you bro, I just made a post a few days ago about putting my boy down. I'm sorry it didn't work out better for you.

24 days ago
2/13/12
Posts: 2959

RIP Tank

24 days ago
2/24/16
Posts: 6

I always thought we'd have at least this Christmas with him, especially for my daughter as he slept by her every night and loves him so much. He also protected my wife the first week we had him and he didn't even know us but wouldn't let anything happen to these girls 

24 days ago
2/15/06
Posts: 23531

Good article on grieving for your lost dog.

https://www.petcurean.com/blog/losing-your-best-friend-helpful-advice-for-grieving-a-pet/

24 days ago
7/4/08
Posts: 2202

So sorry for the loss. 
better a few days early than an hour too late. He wasn’t likely to get much better given his conditions and age. I’m sure you did the right thing. Hang in there. You gave him a good life.  

24 days ago
3/9/12
Posts: 11522

Awfully dusty over here, sorry for your loss friend. 

24 days ago
2/24/16
Posts: 7

Sitting here in my recliner as SNF starts, looking for him in his 2/3 spots as always. I see him in every spot, yet he's not coming . Picking him up tomorrow is gonna be the fucking worst. A part of me has died. 

24 days ago
7/9/19
Posts: 353

Can’t imagine the feeling as I haven’t had it happen, yet...... sorry for your loss and remember the good times! All good things must come to an end....unfortunately 

24 days ago
2/24/16
Posts: 8

My wife asks about my hand as if I actually feel anything physical. No, couldn't care less about the hand, never felt a thing, I was just scared for my friend and the worst happened 

24 days ago
2/24/16
Posts: 9

So sorry TFK