OtherGround Forums The adventures of my cousin Ronbie

8/1/19 2:29 PM
3/25/19
Posts: 2823

So I told a couple stories about my cousin Ron in another thread and got a good response. So this is the Ron thread.  

 

Let me preface by saying I love my cuz very much.  We've been close all of our lives. But as you'll see,  Ron is an idiot. 

 

Episode 1: Ronbies phone deceptions.

Every single time Ron answers his phone,  he says "hello,  this is Bob speaking". Why? Because  "in case it's the cops or something". 

 

8/1/19 2:32 PM
6/30/07
Posts: 55516

In!

8/1/19 2:41 PM
3/25/19
Posts: 2824

So our little white trash town has a little white trash festival every year in early fall.  Obviously this is me and Ronbies favorite event to go to. 

Every year Ronbie gets drunk on cheap wine and does something insane.  My favorite was 2008. He got drunk and jumped up on a picnic table and started yelling about some shit or another.  Cop comes and tells him to get down and ronbie says no and tries to kick him.  Of course he misses.  Falls off the table. Lands directly on his head and then spends the night in the drunk tank.  I pick him up next morning and ask how it was.  He says,  the hooch was good! Lmao

8/1/19 3:37 PM
3/25/19
Posts: 2826

When it comes to women,  he is a staunch believer in quantity over quality.  He's boned tons.  Every single one being large. 

8/1/19 3:37 PM
12/4/06
Posts: 20075

And in

8/1/19 3:42 PM
11/16/17
Posts: 5479

This is going to be hilarious 

8/1/19 4:06 PM
2/23/05
Posts: 14408
I like the guy already
8/1/19 4:10 PM
5/14/08
Posts: 10218

LOL In!

8/1/19 4:14 PM
6/3/19
Posts: 65

In! 

8/1/19 4:19 PM
1/1/01
Posts: 49059

In

8/1/19 4:29 PM
3/25/19
Posts: 2827

One time ronbie got drunk and tried to hitchhike to the next town over to see some giant broad.  He gets a ride from this trucker. At some point in the 10 minute ride to the next town Ron decided that life on the road was the way to go.  Texts me 2 days later in his classic shorthand text.  "Hung over.  No money.  Nashville Tennessee. You busy? " 

8/1/19 4:43 PM
11/20/14
Posts: 1051

10 to 1 this thread get hijacked.

8/1/19 4:47 PM
12/6/14
Posts: 987
HighInsideLegKick -

So I told a couple stories about my cousin Ron in another thread and got a good response. So this is the Ron thread.  

 

Let me preface by saying I love my cuz very much.  We've been close all of our lives. But as you'll see,  Ron is an idiot. 

 

Episode 1: Ronbies phone deceptions.

Every single time Ron answers his phone,  he says "hello,  this is Bob speaking". Why? Because  "in case it's the cops or something". 

 

Bob sounds like a genius to me!

8/1/19 4:49 PM
2/24/19
Posts: 248

In - Sounds like guys I know here in WV! 

Edited: 8/1/19 5:05 PM
3/25/19
Posts: 2828

Ron doesn't realize we're white trash and I've never had the heart to tell him.  I guess in his mind life is just life and it's the same for all of us.  

 

He thinks anything that was bought from anywhere more expensive than Walmart is pure class. He came busting in my house one day (motherfucker never knocks). "hey,  look at me new shirt!  This son of a bitch cost $25! Nice right?!. I bought it so i would look nice tonight and I could go out."

 

It's a button up shirt with a huge dragon on it lmao

8/1/19 4:58 PM
4/18/01
Posts: 53111
classic Ronbie
8/1/19 5:00 PM
9/25/09
Posts: 9060

In.  Need to enjoy someone’s positive life adventures.

8/1/19 5:01 PM
1/1/01
Posts: 31866

Haha, I like him already.

Thread is gonna be thick, solid, tight.

8/1/19 5:24 PM
12/17/06
Posts: 76380

Ron... bie? Is that a name or just a sound?

8/1/19 5:25 PM
11/20/14
Posts: 1055
Altofsky -

Ron... bie? Is that a name or just a sound?

I was just about to ask if that was his name or a typo. WTF eh.
8/1/19 5:39 PM
3/25/19
Posts: 2829
Altofsky -

Ron... bie? Is that a name or just a sound?

Ron has a kid that isn't really his kid.  Nobody knows where the kid came from.  Ron just showed up one day with a toddler. Kid has been with us for 12 years now.  His name is zombie. So we call them zombie and ronbie.  

 

There are theories about zombies life before us but nobody knows for sure.  

8/1/19 5:49 PM
5/14/08
Posts: 10221

Can I come to Thanksgiving and hang out with Ronbie?

8/1/19 5:50 PM
12/17/06
Posts: 76383
HighInsideLegKick -
Altofsky -

Ron... bie? Is that a name or just a sound?

Ron has a kid that isn't really his kid.  Nobody knows where the kid came from.  Ron just showed up one day with a toddler. Kid has been with us for 12 years now.  His name is zombie. So we call them zombie and ronbie.  

 

There are theories about zombies life before us but nobody knows for sure.  

I think I need to go pray.

8/1/19 5:52 PM
3/25/19
Posts: 2830
Submissable -

Can I come to Thanksgiving and hang out with Ronbie?

Youre welcome in my home any day.  I'd suggest you come to Christmas instead.  That's when he is at his best.  Every year he "forgets" to get presents.  Then he feels bad so he starts throwing cash around.  It's also his annual teaching the kids how to gamble day. 

 

By 11am he'll be liquored up and losing money to anyone who can roll a dice lol

Edited: 8/1/19 6:03 PM
3/25/19
Posts: 2831
Slydawg -

Holy white trash! Does Ron like arabs? Or is he ignorant. 

Ron isn't the brightest bulb,  but he is the friendliest. He's one of those guys who thinks every person he meets is his friend. I highly doubt that he holds a grudge against any race.  

 

He is a very complex dude.  He is probably the sweetest person I've ever met.  But on the other hand,  I have personally seen him get in probably at least 25 fist fights.  

 

His is pretty dim witted in a lot of ways,  but he's bright as hell at anything mechanical.