OtherGround Forums What do I text this girl?

2/12/19 5:46 PM
4/23/16
Posts: 296

Just message that you hope she is enjoying her vacation and leave it at that. If she responds with details then reply back

2/12/19 6:15 PM
1/1/01
Posts: 14926
billyball2 - 
DeathTrooper - 

Ok, I feel like I should add some context to the situation.

I've been out with this girl 3 times. Every date went really well, in my opinion.

The fact is, she's WAY out of my league. I don't know how I've been out on even one date with her. On one hand, I'm kind of expecting her to say, "Thanks, but no thanks." On the other, I feel like this is a great opprotunity to be with a girl I would normally never have a chance with. I figure I've been doing something right and I don't want to screw it up by being my normal, insecure self. 


It's so hard to read shit like this.

Dude, she's not interested in you in ANY WAY other than being "friends".

At 31 and 28 years old people don't date like 8th graders and take weeks and weeks to determine if things are going to progress.

Text her, don't text her...doesn't fucking matter. You're just that guy that she went out with three times.

You're spending more mental energy on her debating the texting than she's spent thinking about you since you've known her.

Ask 10 women for their number next week. Three will give you their number and one or two will go out with you. Don't give the other 7 or 8 a second fucking thought.

Do the same thing next month until one of the girls you're going out with tells you to stop dating other broads.




Ya sadly I agree ^. If you haven’t banged her yet !? I wouldn’t be messaging her

Competition anxiety = look it up. It’s very real
I tell girls I’m interested in that a x or some girl I met recently wants to hang out(don’t be obvious)

Chicks usually know in the first date / day if you gonna be fucking normally.

I occasionally can pull some chicks later on but your chances drop big time the more you wait.
Friend zone is real. I still make the mistake but rarel. I do when I feel they are out of my league or something similar. I either bang them or let it go though as a best practice.

Possibly she is a good girl looking for something serious.
Equal or greater chance she’s seeing & getting fucked by another guy or guys.
Good looking women have no problem getting dudes.

How far have you got with her ? Kisses ? Hands in her panties ?

Don’t text her because your insecure and you’ll be checking your phone after u msg her or critique her response or lack of one.

Imo. Go get a massage from a Asian massage or jerk off next time you really want to message her.
Goto the gym or something physical. Act like she’s already gone
2/12/19 6:20 PM
10/25/08
Posts: 5787

Don’t text her while she’s away.  Get out and have fun.  Date other women - she isn’t your girlfriend or wife.

 

Get some confidence in your self - drop the “she’s out of my league” crap.  Have the attitude that no woman is out of your league.  If you dated 1 women this attractive, you can date more.

 

Next time you hang out, try to get physical. You are in the let’s be friends danger zone after 3 dates with no action. If she tells you she just wants to be friends, stop hanging out with her and move on to other women.

 

Google the Rational Male and read all of the best of year 1 articles.  

 

Good luck.

2/12/19 7:28 PM
9/1/11
Posts: 554

 

When my girlfriend when on vacation with her friends I took the whole week off of work without telling her . I drank beer and worked on my man cave , went dirt biking , ordered out every night . It was the best week ever 

Edited: 2/12/19 7:45 PM
11/9/05
Posts: 27917

You need to understand it's not possible to fuck this up by not texting her. It's a choice that involves zero risk.

When a woman feels high attraction or interest in a man and fears he is backing away, the first thing she'll do is reach out to reel him back in. If she doesn't, it's because her interest/attraction was barely palpable and you didn't really have a chance in the first place.

You are not going to build attraction with this woman by checking in and letting her know she's on your mind - that's not how it works. Attraction is built when she's forced to wonder about you and take action. Why hasn't he texted me? Did he meet someone else? Is he dead? Did he win the lotto? Is he fucking my sister?

If she's into you, her mind will start running wild as it combs through all the possible ways you're spending your time. As you begin taking up more and more of her headspace, you'll simultaneously be demonstrating the fact you don't need the reassurance of her contact, and have a life of your own to tend to while she's away. These are the traits that drop panties.

You'll be creating attraction while sitting back doing nothing, because her mind will do all the work for you.

This girl hasn't jumped your dick after 3 dates because she has no fear of loss. She knows exactly how much you like her, and subsequently hasn't felt the need to use sex as a tool to keep you on her track, nor has she felt enough attraction to rip your clothes off out of pure lust.

You aren't completely dead yet, but this needs to change.

Let her experience the sensation of wanting to contact you. Let her wonder about what you're doing while she's away. Give her the space to miss you.

If she digs you, she'll try to make plans upon her return. Set something up and use that momentum to escalate things physically. At this juncture it's essential you sexualize the dynamic.

And dude, focus on fixing your insecurities. They will will eventually manifest themselves in the form of jealousy, neediness, and myriad of other ways that send women running. They're delusions, not truths, and they can be expelled.

 

 

 

 

 

2/12/19 7:54 PM
12/17/16
Posts: 651
itskrisdude -

You need to understand it's not possible to fuck this up by not texting her. It's a choice that involves zero risk.

When a woman feels high attraction or interest in a man and fears he is backing away, the first thing she'll do is reach out to reel him back in. If she doesn't, it's because her interest/attraction was barely palpable and you didn't really have a chance in the first place.

You are not going to build attraction with this woman by checking in and letting her know she's on your mind - that's not how it works. Attraction is built when she's forced to wonder about you and take action. Why hasn't he texted me? Did he meet someone else? Is he dead? Did he win the lotto? Is he fucking my sister?

If she's into you, her mind will start running wild as it combs through all the possible ways you're spending your time. As you begin taking up more and more of her headspace, you'll simultaneously be demonstrating the fact you don't need the reassurance of her contact, and have a life of your own to tend to while she's away. These are the traits that drop panties.

You'll be creating attraction while sitting back doing nothing, because her mind will do all the work for you.

This girl hasn't jumped your dick after 3 dates because she has no fear of loss. She knows exactly how much you like her, and subsequently hasn't felt the need to use sex as a tool to keep you on her track, nor has she felt enough attraction to rip your clothes off out of pure lust.

You aren't completely dead yet, but this needs to change.

Let her experience the sensation of wanting to contact you. Let her wonder about what you're doing while she's away. Give her the space to miss you.

If she digs you, she'll try to make plans upon her return. Set something up and use that momentum to escalate things physically. At this juncture it's essential you sexualize the dynamic.

And dude, focus on fixing your insecurities. They will will eventually manifest themselves in the form of jealousy, neediness, and myriad of other ways that send women running. They're delusions, not truths, and they can be expelled.

 

 

 

 

 

Now this is some fucking advice! Thank you! 

A lot of that makes sense to me. I guess I'm just wondering if she doesn't text me, do I basically consider it done? As of right now, it's been 4 days since I've heard from her. 

Based on all the advice, specifically the one above, I'm assuming I wait to hear from her and force her to make the next move. If I don't hear from her by this weekend, which is when she would be getting back, I'll know where I stand.

I think one thing that scares me is wondering if I should have done something different. I don't want to always wonder if I did the right thing.

2/12/19 7:57 PM
10/4/18
Posts: 796
DeathTrooper - 
itskrisdude -

You need to understand it's not possible to fuck this up by not texting her. It's a choice that involves zero risk.

When a woman feels high attraction or interest in a man and fears he is backing away, the first thing she'll do is reach out to reel him back in. If she doesn't, it's because her interest/attraction was barely palpable and you didn't really have a chance in the first place.

You are not going to build attraction with this woman by checking in and letting her know she's on your mind - that's not how it works. Attraction is built when she's forced to wonder about you and take action. Why hasn't he texted me? Did he meet someone else? Is he dead? Did he win the lotto? Is he fucking my sister?

If she's into you, her mind will start running wild as it combs through all the possible ways you're spending your time. As you begin taking up more and more of her headspace, you'll simultaneously be demonstrating the fact you don't need the reassurance of her contact, and have a life of your own to tend to while she's away. These are the traits that drop panties.

You'll be creating attraction while sitting back doing nothing, because her mind will do all the work for you.

This girl hasn't jumped your dick after 3 dates because she has no fear of loss. She knows exactly how much you like her, and subsequently hasn't felt the need to use sex as a tool to keep you on her track, nor has she felt enough attraction to rip your clothes off out of pure lust.

You aren't completely dead yet, but this needs to change.

Let her experience the sensation of wanting to contact you. Let her wonder about what you're doing while she's away. Give her the space to miss you.

If she digs you, she'll try to make plans upon her return. Set something up and use that momentum to escalate things physically. At this juncture it's essential you sexualize the dynamic.

And dude, focus on fixing your insecurities. They will will eventually manifest themselves in the form of jealousy, neediness, and myriad of other ways that send women running. They're delusions, not truths, and they can be expelled.

 

 

 

 

 

Now this is some fucking advice! Thank you! 

A lot of that makes sense to me. I guess I'm just wondering if she doesn't text me, do I basically consider it done? As of right now, it's been 4 days since I've heard from her. 

Based on all the advice, specifically the one above, I'm assuming I wait to hear from her and force her to make the next move. If I don't hear from her by this weekend, which is when she would be getting back, I'll know where I stand.

I think one thing that scares me is wondering if I should have done something different. I don't want to always wonder if I did the right thing.


Take this advice. Its spot on.
2/12/19 8:17 PM
11/9/05
Posts: 27918

If she said anything before she left along the lines of, "I'll call you when I get back," then the best play would be to wait until she contacts you. If you do reach out first, only do so after she's been back at least a few days, and keep it simple, "how was the trip? Let's grab a drink this week." Don't act the least bit anxious or concerned about the fact you haven't heard from her. If she doesn't agree to plans right then or seems hesitant, you back off completely and let her make the next effort.

But really, you're overthinking all of this. You're not her boyfriend, you haven't fucked her, and neither of you have any obligation to each other whatsoever. Thoughts like "do I consider it done,' shouldn't even be in your head. You should be talking to and dating other women, not solely focused on the status of a girl you hung out with a few times.

"I think one thing that scares me is wondering if I should have done something different. I don't want to always wonder if I did the right thing."

 

Who fucking cares? She isn't some irreplaceable work of art, and you have no idea what the alternative involves. It takes time to peel the layers away from a woman until exposing the real her. Drop the fantasy - you don't what she's about yet.

And with any misstep or fuck up, what's done is done. You take the lesson and apply it to the next experience. Always wondering about what if's is for pussies. Don't be a pussy.

Edited: 2/12/19 8:27 PM
1/1/01
Posts: 88249

OP is drinking motor oil in the desert and asking "How do people know I'm thirsty?"

2/12/19 8:42 PM
1/1/01
Posts: 33958
DeathTrooper - 
itskrisdude -

You need to understand it's not possible to fuck this up by not texting her. It's a choice that involves zero risk.

When a woman feels high attraction or interest in a man and fears he is backing away, the first thing she'll do is reach out to reel him back in. If she doesn't, it's because her interest/attraction was barely palpable and you didn't really have a chance in the first place.

You are not going to build attraction with this woman by checking in and letting her know she's on your mind - that's not how it works. Attraction is built when she's forced to wonder about you and take action. Why hasn't he texted me? Did he meet someone else? Is he dead? Did he win the lotto? Is he fucking my sister?

If she's into you, her mind will start running wild as it combs through all the possible ways you're spending your time. As you begin taking up more and more of her headspace, you'll simultaneously be demonstrating the fact you don't need the reassurance of her contact, and have a life of your own to tend to while she's away. These are the traits that drop panties.

You'll be creating attraction while sitting back doing nothing, because her mind will do all the work for you.

This girl hasn't jumped your dick after 3 dates because she has no fear of loss. She knows exactly how much you like her, and subsequently hasn't felt the need to use sex as a tool to keep you on her track, nor has she felt enough attraction to rip your clothes off out of pure lust.

You aren't completely dead yet, but this needs to change.

Let her experience the sensation of wanting to contact you. Let her wonder about what you're doing while she's away. Give her the space to miss you.

If she digs you, she'll try to make plans upon her return. Set something up and use that momentum to escalate things physically. At this juncture it's essential you sexualize the dynamic.

And dude, focus on fixing your insecurities. They will will eventually manifest themselves in the form of jealousy, neediness, and myriad of other ways that send women running. They're delusions, not truths, and they can be expelled.

 

 

 

 

 

Now this is some fucking advice! Thank you! 

A lot of that makes sense to me. I guess I'm just wondering if she doesn't text me, do I basically consider it done? As of right now, it's been 4 days since I've heard from her. 

Based on all the advice, specifically the one above, I'm assuming I wait to hear from her and force her to make the next move. If I don't hear from her by this weekend, which is when she would be getting back, I'll know where I stand.

I think one thing that scares me is wondering if I should have done something different. I don't want to always wonder if I did the right thing.


You've already been on 3 dates and haven't gotten laid. Assume you didn't make the grade.

Women always have more options than men. You even admitted this woman is legit hot and way out of your league. Once again, if you haven't touched her pussy after 3 dates, consider it over.

Part of being the "alpha" male is knowing when to move on. She'll at least respect you for that.

On a tangent, how far did you physically escalate things? Many times, guys think they're doing well, b/c the woman seems to be having a good time and therefore, they feel like they don't need to escalate, thus killing their chances.
2/12/19 8:53 PM
11/9/05
Posts: 27919
Liyon -
DeathTrooper - 
itskrisdude -

You need to understand it's not possible to fuck this up by not texting her. It's a choice that involves zero risk.

When a woman feels high attraction or interest in a man and fears he is backing away, the first thing she'll do is reach out to reel him back in. If she doesn't, it's because her interest/attraction was barely palpable and you didn't really have a chance in the first place.

You are not going to build attraction with this woman by checking in and letting her know she's on your mind - that's not how it works. Attraction is built when she's forced to wonder about you and take action. Why hasn't he texted me? Did he meet someone else? Is he dead? Did he win the lotto? Is he fucking my sister?

If she's into you, her mind will start running wild as it combs through all the possible ways you're spending your time. As you begin taking up more and more of her headspace, you'll simultaneously be demonstrating the fact you don't need the reassurance of her contact, and have a life of your own to tend to while she's away. These are the traits that drop panties.

You'll be creating attraction while sitting back doing nothing, because her mind will do all the work for you.

This girl hasn't jumped your dick after 3 dates because she has no fear of loss. She knows exactly how much you like her, and subsequently hasn't felt the need to use sex as a tool to keep you on her track, nor has she felt enough attraction to rip your clothes off out of pure lust.

You aren't completely dead yet, but this needs to change.

Let her experience the sensation of wanting to contact you. Let her wonder about what you're doing while she's away. Give her the space to miss you.

If she digs you, she'll try to make plans upon her return. Set something up and use that momentum to escalate things physically. At this juncture it's essential you sexualize the dynamic.

And dude, focus on fixing your insecurities. They will will eventually manifest themselves in the form of jealousy, neediness, and myriad of other ways that send women running. They're delusions, not truths, and they can be expelled.

 

 

 

 

 

Now this is some fucking advice! Thank you! 

A lot of that makes sense to me. I guess I'm just wondering if she doesn't text me, do I basically consider it done? As of right now, it's been 4 days since I've heard from her. 

Based on all the advice, specifically the one above, I'm assuming I wait to hear from her and force her to make the next move. If I don't hear from her by this weekend, which is when she would be getting back, I'll know where I stand.

I think one thing that scares me is wondering if I should have done something different. I don't want to always wonder if I did the right thing.


You've already been on 3 dates and haven't gotten laid. Assume you didn't make the grade.

Women always have more options than men. You even admitted this woman is legit hot and way out of your league. Once again, if you haven't touched her pussy after 3 dates, consider it over.

Part of being the "alpha" male is knowing when to move on. She'll at least respect you for that.

On a tangent, how far did you physically escalate things? Many times, guys think they're doing well, b/c the woman seems to be having a good time and therefore, they feel like they don't need to escalate, thus killing their chances.

This is also incorrect.

Back when I didn't even understand what I was doing with women, I still sometimes managed get laid after the 3rd date. Your behavior in this time frame is more important than the number itself.

Some women will just think you're playing hard-to-get, and some will actually be drawn to the simple fact you're approaching things different than other guys.

Like I said, it's not great sign and you need to change things up, but by no means does it mean your chances are dead.

2/12/19 8:55 PM
2/19/14
Posts: 4756

Not reading entire thread  but have a suggestion. 

Jump in your car and drive all night, just to see her. Tell her you just couldn't spend another moment without her. 

2/12/19 8:57 PM
4/11/06
Posts: 4751

Post jizz dick pic and tell her you've been thinking about her. Always works sometimes

2/12/19 9:20 PM
5/30/09
Posts: 17689
androb -
Simyoldsime -
darkness66 -
DeathTrooper -

And I've decided I'm not going to text her, as that seems to be the general consensus. 

Good call. She'll get ahold of you when she gets back. In the meantime, work on your self esteem. Hit the gym, go for a run, get better at something. 

Do you pay for meals? You shouldn't do that until after you've fucked her. A drink is fine but don't be her meal ticket. The next date should be at your place or hers. When she calls or texts say "come over and tell me about your trip. I'm cooking dinner. "

Disagree definitely get the bill. Date's going well and you tell the server to split it? Fuck that. 

He’s saying don’t take her for dinner until they’ve fucked 

i adhere to the same rule. 

I buy drinks only for any online date. 

Dinners are for g/f’s only  

This guy knows. These broads have a line a mile long of dudes waiting to buy them dinner. It screams of desperation, "please spend time with me and I promise I'll feed you". If she doesn't want to fuck you, no amount of free meals is going to change that. It's better to find out before spending a couple hundred bucks on food. 3 dates is plenty of time to decide if this is going anywhere

2/12/19 9:34 PM
5/27/09
Posts: 31917
Lurker99 -

She is on vacation from life. You are in her life. She is therefore also taking a vacation from you. Don't bother her, let it play out and use what she does/doesn't do help you gauge if you are on the same page as her as far as where your relationship is at. If you NEED someone that wants to talk to you every single day, then maybe you need to consider this might not be the one for you.

Little gem here

2/12/19 9:38 PM
1/1/01
Posts: 46064

Make it ring. 

2/12/19 9:44 PM
1/1/01
Posts: 46065

Just read that OP has been on three dates and no sex. I’m assuming that means no blowjob no nothing. 

Soooooooo, that means that you are on the “Friend Ladder” not the “Fuck Ladder”. You can go up and down rungs on whatever ladder you are on but you never jump from one to the other. You are always on and always will be on one of them, and you can never jump from one to the other. 

For those thinking that you or someone has jumped from one to the other........they were always on that ladder. They never changed. They just made the assumption they were on the wrong ladder to begin with. 

2/12/19 9:44 PM
5/30/09
Posts: 17690
DeathTrooper -
itskrisdude -

You need to understand it's not possible to fuck this up by not texting her. It's a choice that involves zero risk.

When a woman feels high attraction or interest in a man and fears he is backing away, the first thing she'll do is reach out to reel him back in. If she doesn't, it's because her interest/attraction was barely palpable and you didn't really have a chance in the first place.

You are not going to build attraction with this woman by checking in and letting her know she's on your mind - that's not how it works. Attraction is built when she's forced to wonder about you and take action. Why hasn't he texted me? Did he meet someone else? Is he dead? Did he win the lotto? Is he fucking my sister?

If she's into you, her mind will start running wild as it combs through all the possible ways you're spending your time. As you begin taking up more and more of her headspace, you'll simultaneously be demonstrating the fact you don't need the reassurance of her contact, and have a life of your own to tend to while she's away. These are the traits that drop panties.

You'll be creating attraction while sitting back doing nothing, because her mind will do all the work for you.

This girl hasn't jumped your dick after 3 dates because she has no fear of loss. She knows exactly how much you like her, and subsequently hasn't felt the need to use sex as a tool to keep you on her track, nor has she felt enough attraction to rip your clothes off out of pure lust.

You aren't completely dead yet, but this needs to change.

Let her experience the sensation of wanting to contact you. Let her wonder about what you're doing while she's away. Give her the space to miss you.

If she digs you, she'll try to make plans upon her return. Set something up and use that momentum to escalate things physically. At this juncture it's essential you sexualize the dynamic.

And dude, focus on fixing your insecurities. They will will eventually manifest themselves in the form of jealousy, neediness, and myriad of other ways that send women running. They're delusions, not truths, and they can be expelled.

 

 

 

 

 

Now this is some fucking advice! Thank you! 

A lot of that makes sense to me. I guess I'm just wondering if she doesn't text me, do I basically consider it done? As of right now, it's been 4 days since I've heard from her. 

Based on all the advice, specifically the one above, I'm assuming I wait to hear from her and force her to make the next move. If I don't hear from her by this weekend, which is when she would be getting back, I'll know where I stand.

I think one thing that scares me is wondering if I should have done something different. I don't want to always wonder if I did the right thing.

It's good advice. Don't be afraid to text her when she gets back, but be more forward about what you want. Get her over to your place ASAP

2/12/19 9:51 PM
5/30/09
Posts: 17691
Samoa -

Just read that OP has been on three dates and no sex. I’m assuming that means no blowjob no nothing. 

Soooooooo, that means that you are on the “Friend Ladder” not the “Fuck Ladder”. You can go up and down rungs on whatever ladder you are on but you never jump from one to the other. You are always on and always will be on one of them, and you can never jump from one to the other. 

For those thinking that you or someone has jumped from one to the other........they were always on that ladder. They never changed. They just made the assumption they were on the wrong ladder to begin with. 

And in woman language friend means dude who buys her food and gives her attention when she doesn't feel like having sex

2/12/19 9:52 PM
1/1/01
Posts: 46067
darkness66 -
Samoa -

Just read that OP has been on three dates and no sex. I’m assuming that means no blowjob no nothing. 

Soooooooo, that means that you are on the “Friend Ladder” not the “Fuck Ladder”. You can go up and down rungs on whatever ladder you are on but you never jump from one to the other. You are always on and always will be on one of them, and you can never jump from one to the other. 

For those thinking that you or someone has jumped from one to the other........they were always on that ladder. They never changed. They just made the assumption they were on the wrong ladder to begin with. 

And in woman language friend means dude who buys her food and gives her attention when she doesn't feel like having sex

That’s the Friend Ladder. 

2/12/19 11:11 PM
5/30/09
Posts: 17692
Samoa -
darkness66 -
Samoa -

Just read that OP has been on three dates and no sex. I’m assuming that means no blowjob no nothing. 

Soooooooo, that means that you are on the “Friend Ladder” not the “Fuck Ladder”. You can go up and down rungs on whatever ladder you are on but you never jump from one to the other. You are always on and always will be on one of them, and you can never jump from one to the other. 

For those thinking that you or someone has jumped from one to the other........they were always on that ladder. They never changed. They just made the assumption they were on the wrong ladder to begin with. 

And in woman language friend means dude who buys her food and gives her attention when she doesn't feel like having sex

That’s the Friend Ladder. 

Explain this ladder to me, oh wise one. Who's at the bottom and who's at the top? 

2/12/19 11:39 PM
1/1/01
Posts: 33960
darkness66 - 
DeathTrooper -
itskrisdude -

You need to understand it's not possible to fuck this up by not texting her. It's a choice that involves zero risk.

When a woman feels high attraction or interest in a man and fears he is backing away, the first thing she'll do is reach out to reel him back in. If she doesn't, it's because her interest/attraction was barely palpable and you didn't really have a chance in the first place.

You are not going to build attraction with this woman by checking in and letting her know she's on your mind - that's not how it works. Attraction is built when she's forced to wonder about you and take action. Why hasn't he texted me? Did he meet someone else? Is he dead? Did he win the lotto? Is he fucking my sister?

If she's into you, her mind will start running wild as it combs through all the possible ways you're spending your time. As you begin taking up more and more of her headspace, you'll simultaneously be demonstrating the fact you don't need the reassurance of her contact, and have a life of your own to tend to while she's away. These are the traits that drop panties.

You'll be creating attraction while sitting back doing nothing, because her mind will do all the work for you.

This girl hasn't jumped your dick after 3 dates because she has no fear of loss. She knows exactly how much you like her, and subsequently hasn't felt the need to use sex as a tool to keep you on her track, nor has she felt enough attraction to rip your clothes off out of pure lust.

You aren't completely dead yet, but this needs to change.

Let her experience the sensation of wanting to contact you. Let her wonder about what you're doing while she's away. Give her the space to miss you.

If she digs you, she'll try to make plans upon her return. Set something up and use that momentum to escalate things physically. At this juncture it's essential you sexualize the dynamic.

And dude, focus on fixing your insecurities. They will will eventually manifest themselves in the form of jealousy, neediness, and myriad of other ways that send women running. They're delusions, not truths, and they can be expelled.

 

 

 

 

 

Now this is some fucking advice! Thank you! 

A lot of that makes sense to me. I guess I'm just wondering if she doesn't text me, do I basically consider it done? As of right now, it's been 4 days since I've heard from her. 

Based on all the advice, specifically the one above, I'm assuming I wait to hear from her and force her to make the next move. If I don't hear from her by this weekend, which is when she would be getting back, I'll know where I stand.

I think one thing that scares me is wondering if I should have done something different. I don't want to always wonder if I did the right thing.

It's good advice. Don't be afraid to text her when she gets back, but be more forward about what you want. Get her over to your place ASAP


What is the time timeline of the 3 dates and her vacation?
2/12/19 11:52 PM
1/1/01
Posts: 88256
darkness66 - 
Samoa -
darkness66 -
Samoa -

Just read that OP has been on three dates and no sex. I’m assuming that means no blowjob no nothing. 

Soooooooo, that means that you are on the “Friend Ladder” not the “Fuck Ladder”. You can go up and down rungs on whatever ladder you are on but you never jump from one to the other. You are always on and always will be on one of them, and you can never jump from one to the other. 

For those thinking that you or someone has jumped from one to the other........they were always on that ladder. They never changed. They just made the assumption they were on the wrong ladder to begin with. 

And in woman language friend means dude who buys her food and gives her attention when she doesn't feel like having sex

That’s the Friend Ladder. 

Explain this ladder to me, oh wise one. Who's at the bottom and who's at the top? 


2/13/19 12:01 AM
12/17/16
Posts: 652
Liyon -
darkness66 - 
DeathTrooper -
itskrisdude -

You need to understand it's not possible to fuck this up by not texting her. It's a choice that involves zero risk.

When a woman feels high attraction or interest in a man and fears he is backing away, the first thing she'll do is reach out to reel him back in. If she doesn't, it's because her interest/attraction was barely palpable and you didn't really have a chance in the first place.

You are not going to build attraction with this woman by checking in and letting her know she's on your mind - that's not how it works. Attraction is built when she's forced to wonder about you and take action. Why hasn't he texted me? Did he meet someone else? Is he dead? Did he win the lotto? Is he fucking my sister?

If she's into you, her mind will start running wild as it combs through all the possible ways you're spending your time. As you begin taking up more and more of her headspace, you'll simultaneously be demonstrating the fact you don't need the reassurance of her contact, and have a life of your own to tend to while she's away. These are the traits that drop panties.

You'll be creating attraction while sitting back doing nothing, because her mind will do all the work for you.

This girl hasn't jumped your dick after 3 dates because she has no fear of loss. She knows exactly how much you like her, and subsequently hasn't felt the need to use sex as a tool to keep you on her track, nor has she felt enough attraction to rip your clothes off out of pure lust.

You aren't completely dead yet, but this needs to change.

Let her experience the sensation of wanting to contact you. Let her wonder about what you're doing while she's away. Give her the space to miss you.

If she digs you, she'll try to make plans upon her return. Set something up and use that momentum to escalate things physically. At this juncture it's essential you sexualize the dynamic.

And dude, focus on fixing your insecurities. They will will eventually manifest themselves in the form of jealousy, neediness, and myriad of other ways that send women running. They're delusions, not truths, and they can be expelled.

 

 

 

 

 

Now this is some fucking advice! Thank you! 

A lot of that makes sense to me. I guess I'm just wondering if she doesn't text me, do I basically consider it done? As of right now, it's been 4 days since I've heard from her. 

Based on all the advice, specifically the one above, I'm assuming I wait to hear from her and force her to make the next move. If I don't hear from her by this weekend, which is when she would be getting back, I'll know where I stand.

I think one thing that scares me is wondering if I should have done something different. I don't want to always wonder if I did the right thing.

It's good advice. Don't be afraid to text her when she gets back, but be more forward about what you want. Get her over to your place ASAP


What is the time timeline of the 3 dates and her vacation?

It started in mid January. The big gap between dates is mostly due to her job. The last date was on the 2nd. We were going to go out again but she cancelled due to work obligations. I assumed this wasn't a lie. I asked her out last week, intending it to take place this past weekend. That's when she told me she was going on the vacation. 

I told her that I liked going out with her and if she still wanted to go out when she got back, she should hit me up. I said this in the hope that if she didn't want to, she would use this opprotunity to say so.

She responded, "Of course!" and "Ill see you when I get back!"

When I started this thread, I was thinking my chances were 50/50. Looking at all the responses, I now feel like it's closer to 10/90. 

I appreciate all the advice, even the cunty ones. 

I'm not going to text her and just wait to see what happens. If I don't hear back by the end of this weekend, I'm going to assume it's over and move on. 

2/13/19 12:05 AM
12/17/16
Posts: 653
DaveFu -
darkness66 - 
Samoa -
darkness66 -
Samoa -

Just read that OP has been on three dates and no sex. I’m assuming that means no blowjob no nothing. 

Soooooooo, that means that you are on the “Friend Ladder” not the “Fuck Ladder”. You can go up and down rungs on whatever ladder you are on but you never jump from one to the other. You are always on and always will be on one of them, and you can never jump from one to the other. 

For those thinking that you or someone has jumped from one to the other........they were always on that ladder. They never changed. They just made the assumption they were on the wrong ladder to begin with. 

And in woman language friend means dude who buys her food and gives her attention when she doesn't feel like having sex

That’s the Friend Ladder. 

Explain this ladder to me, oh wise one. Who's at the bottom and who's at the top? 


If I find out I'm on the "friend" side of the ladder, I'm making that fucking jump. Pit of Despair be damned.