OtherGround Forums What do I text this girl?

2/13/19 12:05 AM
12/17/16
Posts: 653
DaveFu -
darkness66 - 
Samoa -
darkness66 -
Samoa -

Just read that OP has been on three dates and no sex. I’m assuming that means no blowjob no nothing. 

Soooooooo, that means that you are on the “Friend Ladder” not the “Fuck Ladder”. You can go up and down rungs on whatever ladder you are on but you never jump from one to the other. You are always on and always will be on one of them, and you can never jump from one to the other. 

For those thinking that you or someone has jumped from one to the other........they were always on that ladder. They never changed. They just made the assumption they were on the wrong ladder to begin with. 

And in woman language friend means dude who buys her food and gives her attention when she doesn't feel like having sex

That’s the Friend Ladder. 

Explain this ladder to me, oh wise one. Who's at the bottom and who's at the top? 


If I find out I'm on the "friend" side of the ladder, I'm making that fucking jump. Pit of Despair be damned. 

2/13/19 12:15 AM
11/9/05
Posts: 27920
DeathTrooper -
Liyon -
darkness66 - 
DeathTrooper -
itskrisdude -

You need to understand it's not possible to fuck this up by not texting her. It's a choice that involves zero risk.

When a woman feels high attraction or interest in a man and fears he is backing away, the first thing she'll do is reach out to reel him back in. If she doesn't, it's because her interest/attraction was barely palpable and you didn't really have a chance in the first place.

You are not going to build attraction with this woman by checking in and letting her know she's on your mind - that's not how it works. Attraction is built when she's forced to wonder about you and take action. Why hasn't he texted me? Did he meet someone else? Is he dead? Did he win the lotto? Is he fucking my sister?

If she's into you, her mind will start running wild as it combs through all the possible ways you're spending your time. As you begin taking up more and more of her headspace, you'll simultaneously be demonstrating the fact you don't need the reassurance of her contact, and have a life of your own to tend to while she's away. These are the traits that drop panties.

You'll be creating attraction while sitting back doing nothing, because her mind will do all the work for you.

This girl hasn't jumped your dick after 3 dates because she has no fear of loss. She knows exactly how much you like her, and subsequently hasn't felt the need to use sex as a tool to keep you on her track, nor has she felt enough attraction to rip your clothes off out of pure lust.

You aren't completely dead yet, but this needs to change.

Let her experience the sensation of wanting to contact you. Let her wonder about what you're doing while she's away. Give her the space to miss you.

If she digs you, she'll try to make plans upon her return. Set something up and use that momentum to escalate things physically. At this juncture it's essential you sexualize the dynamic.

And dude, focus on fixing your insecurities. They will will eventually manifest themselves in the form of jealousy, neediness, and myriad of other ways that send women running. They're delusions, not truths, and they can be expelled.

 

 

 

 

 

Now this is some fucking advice! Thank you! 

A lot of that makes sense to me. I guess I'm just wondering if she doesn't text me, do I basically consider it done? As of right now, it's been 4 days since I've heard from her. 

Based on all the advice, specifically the one above, I'm assuming I wait to hear from her and force her to make the next move. If I don't hear from her by this weekend, which is when she would be getting back, I'll know where I stand.

I think one thing that scares me is wondering if I should have done something different. I don't want to always wonder if I did the right thing.

It's good advice. Don't be afraid to text her when she gets back, but be more forward about what you want. Get her over to your place ASAP


What is the time timeline of the 3 dates and her vacation?

It started in mid January. The big gap between dates is mostly due to her job. The last date was on the 2nd. We were going to go out again but she cancelled due to work obligations. I assumed this wasn't a lie. I asked her out last week, intending it to take place this past weekend. That's when she told me she was going on the vacation. 

I told her that I liked going out with her and if she still wanted to go out when she got back, she should hit me up. I said this in the hope that if she didn't want to, she would use this opprotunity to say so.

She responded, "Of course!" and "Ill see you when I get back!"

When I started this thread, I was thinking my chances were 50/50. Looking at all the responses, I now feel like it's closer to 10/90. 

I appreciate all the advice, even the cunty ones. 

I'm not going to text her and just wait to see what happens. If I don't hear back by the end of this weekend, I'm going to assume it's over and move on. 

She has low interest, don't under any circumstance reach out first.

 

 

Edited: 2/13/19 12:18 AM
11/9/05
Posts: 27921

For future reference, if a woman cancels on you for legit reasons and has high interest, she'll attempt to establish a better time right then and there.

Don't ever ask a girl out who cancels on you without trying to reschedule.

2/13/19 12:21 AM
1/1/01
Posts: 33961
itskrisdude - 

For future reference, if a woman cancels on you for legit reasons and has high interest, she'll attempt to establish a better time right then and there.

Don't ever ask a girl out who cancels on you without trying to reschedule.


Or never mentions she's going on vacation soon after you've been out on a few dates when it's obvious the guy is looking forward to another date.
2/13/19 12:21 AM
1/1/01
Posts: 33962
DeathTrooper - 
DaveFu -
darkness66 - 
Samoa -
darkness66 -
Samoa -

Just read that OP has been on three dates and no sex. I’m assuming that means no blowjob no nothing. 

Soooooooo, that means that you are on the “Friend Ladder” not the “Fuck Ladder”. You can go up and down rungs on whatever ladder you are on but you never jump from one to the other. You are always on and always will be on one of them, and you can never jump from one to the other. 

For those thinking that you or someone has jumped from one to the other........they were always on that ladder. They never changed. They just made the assumption they were on the wrong ladder to begin with. 

And in woman language friend means dude who buys her food and gives her attention when she doesn't feel like having sex

That’s the Friend Ladder. 

Explain this ladder to me, oh wise one. Who's at the bottom and who's at the top? 


If I find out I'm on the "friend" side of the ladder, I'm making that fucking jump. Pit of Despair be damned. 


How physical have you gotten with her?
2/13/19 12:24 AM
4/11/08
Posts: 6559
itskrisdude - 

For future reference, if a woman cancels on you for legit reasons and has high interest, she'll attempt to establish a better time right then and there.

Don't ever ask a girl out who cancels on you without trying to reschedule.


Wise words.
2/13/19 12:42 AM
5/23/07
Posts: 15715
sgotwalks - 
DeathTrooper -

And I've decided I'm not going to text her, as that seems to be the general consensus. 

Dude, this thread is kind of funny, kind of sad. My concern is that you've admitted being quite insecure and feeling that she is way out of your league. You can't hide that shit forever, and every good looking girl is attracted to confidence, not insecurity. Go ahead and send her a fucking text. Keep it simple. Tell her you hope her and her family are having a good time, and you'll look forward to hearing about it when she gets home. Ask her to bring you a shark's tooth the size of a lunch plate, then leave her alone for the rest of the vacation. At worst, she doesn't respond while on holidays, and at best you get a big as shark's tooth and a blowjob when she returns. 


guess what you've got coming to you in a week....
2/13/19 1:45 AM
4/15/16
Posts: 5809
DeathTrooper -
Liyon -
darkness66 - 
DeathTrooper -
itskrisdude -

You need to understand it's not possible to fuck this up by not texting her. It's a choice that involves zero risk.

When a woman feels high attraction or interest in a man and fears he is backing away, the first thing she'll do is reach out to reel him back in. If she doesn't, it's because her interest/attraction was barely palpable and you didn't really have a chance in the first place.

You are not going to build attraction with this woman by checking in and letting her know she's on your mind - that's not how it works. Attraction is built when she's forced to wonder about you and take action. Why hasn't he texted me? Did he meet someone else? Is he dead? Did he win the lotto? Is he fucking my sister?

If she's into you, her mind will start running wild as it combs through all the possible ways you're spending your time. As you begin taking up more and more of her headspace, you'll simultaneously be demonstrating the fact you don't need the reassurance of her contact, and have a life of your own to tend to while she's away. These are the traits that drop panties.

You'll be creating attraction while sitting back doing nothing, because her mind will do all the work for you.

This girl hasn't jumped your dick after 3 dates because she has no fear of loss. She knows exactly how much you like her, and subsequently hasn't felt the need to use sex as a tool to keep you on her track, nor has she felt enough attraction to rip your clothes off out of pure lust.

You aren't completely dead yet, but this needs to change.

Let her experience the sensation of wanting to contact you. Let her wonder about what you're doing while she's away. Give her the space to miss you.

If she digs you, she'll try to make plans upon her return. Set something up and use that momentum to escalate things physically. At this juncture it's essential you sexualize the dynamic.

And dude, focus on fixing your insecurities. They will will eventually manifest themselves in the form of jealousy, neediness, and myriad of other ways that send women running. They're delusions, not truths, and they can be expelled.

 

 

 

 

 

Now this is some fucking advice! Thank you! 

A lot of that makes sense to me. I guess I'm just wondering if she doesn't text me, do I basically consider it done? As of right now, it's been 4 days since I've heard from her. 

Based on all the advice, specifically the one above, I'm assuming I wait to hear from her and force her to make the next move. If I don't hear from her by this weekend, which is when she would be getting back, I'll know where I stand.

I think one thing that scares me is wondering if I should have done something different. I don't want to always wonder if I did the right thing.

It's good advice. Don't be afraid to text her when she gets back, but be more forward about what you want. Get her over to your place ASAP


What is the time timeline of the 3 dates and her vacation?

It started in mid January. The big gap between dates is mostly due to her job. The last date was on the 2nd. We were going to go out again but she cancelled due to work obligations. I assumed this wasn't a lie. I asked her out last week, intending it to take place this past weekend. That's when she told me she was going on the vacation. 

I told her that I liked going out with her and if she still wanted to go out when she got back, she should hit me up. I said this in the hope that if she didn't want to, she would use this opprotunity to say so.

She responded, "Of course!" and "Ill see you when I get back!"

When I started this thread, I was thinking my chances were 50/50. Looking at all the responses, I now feel like it's closer to 10/90. 

I appreciate all the advice, even the cunty ones. 

I'm not going to text her and just wait to see what happens. If I don't hear back by the end of this weekend, I'm going to assume it's over and move on. 

Based on your reply here, it was clearly left for her to get in touch with you when she returns. If she's the least bit interested, she'll do that.

You jumping the gun and texting her, knowing she's on vacation will kill any interest she may have had.

Let her think you have a life. Not that you're sitting around thinking of her. That's creepy.

2/13/19 3:22 AM
9/5/13
Posts: 711

Seeing that the "subscribe" button on this godforsaken site no longer works: IN.

2/13/19 4:29 AM
1/3/05
Posts: 781

 

 

2/13/19 5:46 AM
9/26/07
Posts: 2958

In for updates this weekend. Hope she's really into you OP and reachs out first. 

2/13/19 5:52 AM
12/29/18
Posts: 233

OP. When women have high interest in you they make it easy. 

 

Download the audible gor Corey Wayne’s “how to be a 3% man”

 

also youtube his videos. It’ll change your dating life

2/13/19 6:22 AM
2/23/12
Posts: 13861

31? I’m no lothario but I assumed these were the insecure ramblings of a 16-18 year old 

 

At 28 she’s likely in her twilight years as a hot chick, no one is more insecure about getting older than girls who were always hot. It’ll be like a war of attrition as her friends get married, she’ll probably start to bother you more eventually 

2/13/19 7:21 AM
7/28/08
Posts: 1414
DeathTrooper -
itskrisdude -

You need to understand it's not possible to fuck this up by not texting her. It's a choice that involves zero risk.

When a woman feels high attraction or interest in a man and fears he is backing away, the first thing she'll do is reach out to reel him back in. If she doesn't, it's because her interest/attraction was barely palpable and you didn't really have a chance in the first place.

You are not going to build attraction with this woman by checking in and letting her know she's on your mind - that's not how it works. Attraction is built when she's forced to wonder about you and take action. Why hasn't he texted me? Did he meet someone else? Is he dead? Did he win the lotto? Is he fucking my sister?

If she's into you, her mind will start running wild as it combs through all the possible ways you're spending your time. As you begin taking up more and more of her headspace, you'll simultaneously be demonstrating the fact you don't need the reassurance of her contact, and have a life of your own to tend to while she's away. These are the traits that drop panties.

You'll be creating attraction while sitting back doing nothing, because her mind will do all the work for you.

This girl hasn't jumped your dick after 3 dates because she has no fear of loss. She knows exactly how much you like her, and subsequently hasn't felt the need to use sex as a tool to keep you on her track, nor has she felt enough attraction to rip your clothes off out of pure lust.

You aren't completely dead yet, but this needs to change.

Let her experience the sensation of wanting to contact you. Let her wonder about what you're doing while she's away. Give her the space to miss you.

If she digs you, she'll try to make plans upon her return. Set something up and use that momentum to escalate things physically. At this juncture it's essential you sexualize the dynamic.

And dude, focus on fixing your insecurities. They will will eventually manifest themselves in the form of jealousy, neediness, and myriad of other ways that send women running. They're delusions, not truths, and they can be expelled.

 

 

 

 

 

Now this is some fucking advice! Thank you! 

A lot of that makes sense to me. I guess I'm just wondering if she doesn't text me, do I basically consider it done? As of right now, it's been 4 days since I've heard from her. 

Based on all the advice, specifically the one above, I'm assuming I wait to hear from her and force her to make the next move. If I don't hear from her by this weekend, which is when she would be getting back, I'll know where I stand.

I think one thing that scares me is wondering if I should have done something different. I don't want to always wonder if I did the right thing.

How did you leave your last interaction? You left with nothing? 

2/13/19 7:27 AM
7/28/08
Posts: 1415
arc123 -
DeathTrooper -
itskrisdude -

You need to understand it's not possible to fuck this up by not texting her. It's a choice that involves zero risk.

When a woman feels high attraction or interest in a man and fears he is backing away, the first thing she'll do is reach out to reel him back in. If she doesn't, it's because her interest/attraction was barely palpable and you didn't really have a chance in the first place.

You are not going to build attraction with this woman by checking in and letting her know she's on your mind - that's not how it works. Attraction is built when she's forced to wonder about you and take action. Why hasn't he texted me? Did he meet someone else? Is he dead? Did he win the lotto? Is he fucking my sister?

If she's into you, her mind will start running wild as it combs through all the possible ways you're spending your time. As you begin taking up more and more of her headspace, you'll simultaneously be demonstrating the fact you don't need the reassurance of her contact, and have a life of your own to tend to while she's away. These are the traits that drop panties.

You'll be creating attraction while sitting back doing nothing, because her mind will do all the work for you.

This girl hasn't jumped your dick after 3 dates because she has no fear of loss. She knows exactly how much you like her, and subsequently hasn't felt the need to use sex as a tool to keep you on her track, nor has she felt enough attraction to rip your clothes off out of pure lust.

You aren't completely dead yet, but this needs to change.

Let her experience the sensation of wanting to contact you. Let her wonder about what you're doing while she's away. Give her the space to miss you.

If she digs you, she'll try to make plans upon her return. Set something up and use that momentum to escalate things physically. At this juncture it's essential you sexualize the dynamic.

And dude, focus on fixing your insecurities. They will will eventually manifest themselves in the form of jealousy, neediness, and myriad of other ways that send women running. They're delusions, not truths, and they can be expelled.

 

 

 

 

 

Now this is some fucking advice! Thank you! 

A lot of that makes sense to me. I guess I'm just wondering if she doesn't text me, do I basically consider it done? As of right now, it's been 4 days since I've heard from her. 

Based on all the advice, specifically the one above, I'm assuming I wait to hear from her and force her to make the next move. If I don't hear from her by this weekend, which is when she would be getting back, I'll know where I stand.

I think one thing that scares me is wondering if I should have done something different. I don't want to always wonder if I did the right thing.

How did you leave your last interaction? You left with nothing? 

Ignore I’ve just read the rest of the thread.

 

leave it. Don’t just pretend you’re not interested by not texting her, genuinely fill your time so you aren’t interested. It’s you’re only chance with this one, but you may as well accept she’s dead and gone. If she does ever get back to you, definitely respond in your own leisurely pace, even with a holding txt that you’re stacked and will get back to her following week or something to that extent.

 

’The Game’ is a bit outdated, however don’t get ‘one’itis’ - she’s not the only one and don’t let her (or anyone else) ever think that, at least until you are both ready to mutually commit. 

2/13/19 7:38 AM
3/28/11
Posts: 74
TheMMAn -

Unless she's vacationing at Branson, she's catching some D

But if she is in Branson chances are there is a Baldknobber having a jubilee in that ass. 

2/13/19 8:03 AM
6/3/06
Posts: 802
Jacks Wasted Life -

Don’t text her while she’s away.  Get out and have fun.  Date other women - she isn’t your girlfriend or wife.

 

Get some confidence in your self - drop the “she’s out of my league” crap.  Have the attitude that no woman is out of your league.  If you dated 1 women this attractive, you can date more.

 

Next time you hang out, try to get physical. You are in the let’s be friends danger zone after 3 dates with no action. If she tells you she just wants to be friends, stop hanging out with her and move on to other women.

 

Google the Rational Male and read all of the best of year 1 articles.  

 

Good luck.

Great advice right here for everyone, read "The Rational Male",  it's worth your time

2/13/19 8:06 AM
4/20/17
Posts: 4603

In for spring wedding plans.

2/13/19 9:40 AM
12/19/10
Posts: 2894

 

2/13/19 10:01 AM
12/27/10
Posts: 5803

OP - do not message. If she’s not messaging, it could be because she’s legitimately busy, but it could also be a sign that she’s not overly invested. In this case, you shouldn’t be either. 

 

Also - if she’s only dropping the fact that’s she’s going on holiday to you the day before when you’re asking her out... I dunno that doesn’t strike me as her being massively interested. But maybe she’s just a weird chick. There are many of them. 

 

Just do you. Focus on yourself. If she’s interested, she’ll reach out. If she doesn’t, don’t waste time chasing it. 

2/13/19 12:07 PM
9/18/13
Posts: 2692

Try not to be such a faggot. Go fuck some chicks and see if she contacts you. Her loss if she doesn't (at least that should be your mindset).

2/13/19 12:38 PM
12/13/11
Posts: 7934

The girl ive been seeing for 3 months went on week long vacation after we went on 4 dates. I nailed her on the 3rd date though. And she texted me every day she was gone all this dirty stuff she wanted to do with me. Kind of a different scenario but applicable. I never initiated the texting either. She always wanted to check up on me and make sure i wasnt fucking other girls. 

2/13/19 12:42 PM
8/18/09
Posts: 1019
Tell her you're constantly thinking about her and are worried about being needy. Follow it up with another text that says you're seeking advice from a bunch of random guys on the interwebs about whether or not to text her. Send a third text admitting you messed up by bothering her during her vacation and you understand why she doesn't want to see you again. Send her a fourth text telling her she was the only person who ever "got you" and that you now see your only way to get away from the harsh reality of life is by eating a shotgun. Send her a fifth text blaming all of it on her. Send her a sixth text telling her which Tori Amos song is your favorite even though you probably made this clear on your first date. Send a seventh text that is just sad emojis. Then don't text her again.
2/13/19 1:52 PM
7/21/06
Posts: 14356

So when am I gonna tap dat?

2/13/19 5:08 PM
8/1/12
Posts: 8024

For the LOVE OF GAWD OP

 

DO NOT TEXT THIS CHICK! 

 

Hang back dude, get busy with your life, date other chicks at the same time 

 

she’ll reach out