OtherGround Forums Would you take your wife back after cheating?

7/18/19 9:27 AM
6/3/03
Posts: 101455

I see so many divorce threads on here and have seen so many friends on social media that are divorcing or whatever and it occurred to me that infidelity seems to be the #1 killer of marriages. 

Then I see people that are like “We are staying together for the kids”, which seems retarded but whatever. 

However, I’m wondering if you would stay with your significant other if she cheated? That shit seems like the ultimate betrayal and I don’t think I’d be able to look past that shit. 

Anyone on here ever have their wife cheat and then stay with them? Why did you stay? Did it breed resentment and completely change the marriage forever? Did you stay just for the kids?

Mrs. Crawler’s sister cheated on her husband and dude stayed with her. Fast forward many years, kids are grown and they are starting divorce proceedings. Pretty sure the dude never got past her cheating on him. 

So, would you stay with your wife if she cheated on you?

Edited: 7/18/19 9:33 AM
4/25/13
Posts: 5648

Not even if it was a kiss.

7/18/19 9:29 AM
10/24/03
Posts: 8062

No 

7/18/19 9:32 AM
12/12/04
Posts: 8992
Vindell - 

Not even if was a kiss.


this.

7/18/19 9:33 AM
7/29/13
Posts: 746

Nope. If she is ok doing it once she is ok doing it again.

7/18/19 9:33 AM
7/25/15
Posts: 1351

No I wouldn’t, I wouldn’t be able to respect myself.  

7/18/19 9:34 AM
3/7/07
Posts: 4160

I was young, stupid, and dealing with substance/mental issues when my first wife cheated on me.

At first, yea I thought I’d take her back and did try. I think it was more like “I don’t want the life I built taken from me” than a thing where I just loved her that much. I was really codependent too. After a short time (6 weeks maybe?) if introspection and work to better myself I realized I hated her and kicked her out.

7/18/19 9:34 AM
2/7/08
Posts: 6509
Not even if she flashed a titty at Mardi Gras.
7/18/19 9:37 AM
1/1/01
Posts: 91777

No because of the throught process or decisions that had to be made before getting to that point. Most people try to justify it by saying "it just happened," which is an absolute lie, someone always has to make multiple conscious decision to get to that point where holes fall on a dick. 

1. You stop wanting to enthusiastically bang your spouse and don't fix it. 

2. You associate with people you do want to enthusiastically bang. 

3. You intimately communicate with people you do want to enthusiastically bang.

4. You enter intimate social situations with people you do want to enthusiastically bang.

5. You end up banging them. 

 

7/18/19 9:41 AM
11/5/03
Posts: 21386

I feel a strong deja vu. Didn't we have this same thread recently?

Also, I dumped a gf over just a vague suspicion that she was becoming untrustworthy. I briefly considered breaking into her phone for evidence but realized if I felt the need to do that, it was already too late.

A wife? Forget that noise. 

7/18/19 9:42 AM
10/12/10
Posts: 10511

No.

But I'm sure a lot of people who've experienced it and ended up staying with their partners might've said the same thing prior as well...

 

7/18/19 9:44 AM
1/1/01
Posts: 26144
Nitecrawler -

I see so many divorce threads on here and have seen so many friends on social media that are divorcing or whatever and it occurred to me that infidelity seems to be the #1 killer of marriages. 

Then I see people that are like “We are staying together for the kids”, which seems retarded but whatever. 

However, I’m wondering if you would stay with your significant other if she cheated? That shit seems like the ultimate betrayal and I don’t think I’d be able to look past that shit. 

Anyone on here ever have their wife cheat and then stay with them? Why did you stay? Did it breed resentment and completely change the marriage forever? Did you stay just for the kids?

Mrs. Crawler’s sister cheated on her husband and dude stayed with her. Fast forward many years, kids are grown and they are starting divorce proceedings. Pretty sure the dude never got past her cheating on him. 

So, would you stay with your wife if she cheated on you?

sounds like they were staying together for the kids. 

 

answer to your question; nope.  relationship is based on love AND trust. trust will never be the same whether or not you forgive them imo. 

7/18/19 9:46 AM
11/4/10
Posts: 13031

Not even if she shared an Uber Pool with another fellow!

7/18/19 9:49 AM
12/22/10
Posts: 22325

Fuck no. 

7/18/19 9:49 AM
1/1/01
Posts: 20876
Didn't have to make that decision - she just went ahead & bailed on the family after getting caught. That was some 11+ years ago and Mini-Wiggy basically hasn't had a mama in her life ever since.

Needless to say, I have a very strict no-tolerance policy on that kinda thing.
7/18/19 9:52 AM
9/4/17
Posts: 14518

Nope. Ex wife started acting funny and changing routines. She came home late a couple times. I didn't ask any questions, I packed some of my shit and left. Gave her the house and all the money as long as she never tried to contact me. I aint got time to be upset with stupid bitches. 

7/18/19 9:54 AM
2/6/12
Posts: 6867

Hell no. Cheating is something I’ve never tolerated. If you feel the need to cheat, just end the relationship you’re currently in.

7/18/19 9:54 AM
1/1/01
Posts: 52134

Only if I can watch.

7/18/19 9:57 AM
1/1/01
Posts: 48818

I want to say no I wouldn't. But I'm not married, so I honestly don't know. Kids are also a major factor to consider as well 

Edited: 7/18/19 10:09 AM
6/14/19
Posts: 129

Wife cheated on me.

 

I cheated on her right back.

 

Separated.

 

Decided to give it a try to make it work as an open marriage.

 

Figured why not try. Worst that happens is it doesn't work out and we are back to where we started.

 

Been great so far.

 

The betrayal aspect sucks but I got over it. She got over it. Im not invested as emotionally as I was before. I just treat the relationship more as a life/business/parenting partnership at this point. So far been fun. We have had some great experiences together now. Entering year three now of our new lifestyle.

7/18/19 10:06 AM
1/1/01
Posts: 10498

No

But if any of you sick fucks are feeling vengeful should this situation ever arise (and she comes crawling back) - tell her you'll take her back fully forgiven on the condition you get to bang someone else. Bang the other person, and then let the woman stew a bit before telling her you can't take her back.

Also... you could fuck her mom.

(Classic vid)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xWBw9jEVko

7/18/19 10:07 AM
11/28/09
Posts: 39647

No.  Mainly because more than betraying me,  she would’ve intentionally hurt our kids.

Edited: 7/18/19 10:07 AM
1/1/01
Posts: 91779

7/18/19 10:09 AM
4/25/13
Posts: 5649
sicko -

I want to say no I wouldn't. But I'm not married, so I honestly don't know. Kids are also a major factor to consider as well 

Children should not be a factor. The only person that hurt the children is the cheater. Those children growing and learning about love and marriage from parents that do not love each other, do not trust each other, probably despise each other, and growing up in a failed marriage helps no one including the children. Divorce is horrible also but at least you can be more honest with the children instead of a weird show that they see through anyways, well that is if they are old enough but if they are young they base their future marriage on yours.

Edited: 7/18/19 10:10 AM
11/9/10
Posts: 67737

It is the ultimate betrayal, not just of me but of our family. There is no coming back from that imo.