UnderGround Forums Stoked for this week's Invict....er... UFC card!

9/16/19 6:45 AM
4/21/12
Posts: 8898

The World's #1 MMA Promotion  travels to Mexico City this week and is serving up a fight card packed with high octane WMMA matchups! Fortunately it doesn't conflict with any WNBA pre-season games, so I'm down for this and I'm sure most of you are, too!

Check it out:

 

Main Card:

Co-Main Event! Carla Esparza (14-6) vs. Alexa Grasso (11-2)! These gals each look to build on their 1-fight winning streaks in a battle between #8 and #9. The last time either of them had a win by finish was 2014, so they're waaaaaaay overdue! Expect 15 minutes of explosive WMMA action in this one and be pleasantly surprised if the ref calls a stop to the fight!

Irene Aldana (10-5) vs. Vanessa Melo (10-5). Aldana tries to get back in the Win column as she puts her #10 ranking on the line against late replacement Melo, who is fresh off a big win over a chick with an 11-13 record and is making her UFC debut. Melo had a finish just 4 years ago, and yet the oddsmakers have somehow made Aldana a -470 favorite in this one! Aldana has finishes over UFC vets Bethe Correia and Jessamyn Duke. Don't blink during this one. It's ending early*! (*before midnight)

.

Prelims:

Angela Hill (9-7) vs. Ariane Carnelossi (12-1). Hill, 1-3 in her last 4, looks to build momentum against this UFC newcomer. Carnelossi's 12 wins include 7 against chicks with losing records or who were making their pro debut, but the oddsmakers can tell she's a diamond in the rough and have installed her at near-pick' em odds of +120. If I was a betting guy I'd bet on this one being Total Chick-on-Chick Fireworks!

Sijara Eubanks (4-3) vs. Bethe Correia (10-4-1). In their combined 22 fights, these two gals have managed to finish a grand total of 4 opponents. Don't let that fool you. This is a matchup of the #14 and #15 ranked Bantamweights, so anything can happen and probably will! 

9/16/19 8:18 AM
4/2/11
Posts: 6677

Good thing is lot of boy fights in between the action. It'll give me time to run by pier one imports and I gotta go to TJ max and return a blouse! 

9/16/19 2:12 PM
6/27/02
Posts: 7053

Did Trump put entertainment tariffs on Mexico until they pay for the wall or something?

9/16/19 2:15 PM
6/5/12
Posts: 740

hahahah great post vtfu

some gauranteed razor thin decisions with very little damage inflicted on the horizon!

9/16/19 3:51 PM
4/9/16
Posts: 1770

Great, great post.  Literally LOL'd at a couple of the breakdowns.  VU. 

9/16/19 4:27 PM
11/10/18
Posts: 4079

Lol great summary of just how shitty these fights really are.

9/16/19 6:48 PM
1/22/19
Posts: 267

It's so obvious WMMA only serves the purpose of filling cards up on a budget now.  The Rousey Experiment failed and UFC found out that people did not care about WMMA after they saw that Rousey could not beat up Floyd Mayweather and had no super powers.   Now, the UFC just does not care about quality cards and selling PPV's because the ESPN+ deal automatically gaurantees them big bucks without having to do squat.

9/16/19 6:58 PM
8/5/13
Posts: 4705

This card will be both stunning and brave. Always speak your truth UFC.

9/16/19 7:00 PM
8/19/03
Posts: 27912

Haha good shit.  Truth hurts!

12/3/19 4:29 PM
4/21/12
Posts: 9055

With the LPGA tour off the air until sometime next year (I think), the UFC is looking to corner the market on women's sports fans this weekend, offering up a card that features 3 chick fights out of 12 total. And 2 of those fights are on the main card! Come on, UFC, some of us can't stay up that late no matter how tasty those main card offerings are! 

This week's UFC main card features an Overeem vs. Rozenstruik main event and another battle o' the big men pitting Struve and Rothwell. Sandwiched between those two matchups is a co-main that's got us WMMA fans drooling with anticipation: Cynthia Calvillo (8-1) vs. Marina Rodriguez (12-0-1).

Calvillo earned her co-main spot with a scintillating UD win over Cortney Casey back in February. (Cortney sports an 8-7 record, and with her loss against Calvillo she dropped to 4-6 in UFC.) Calvillo is on a 2-fight win streak after a razor-close UD loss to Carla Esparza back in 2017.

Rodriguez comes in hot off a pair of UD thrillers against Tecia "T Rex" Torres and Jessica Aguilar (both of whom are 1-4 over their last 5) and a majority draw against Randa Markos (2-2-1 over her last 5).

The oddsmakers say this one is pretty much a pick 'em fight, with Rodriguez a slender -125 favorite.

***

In other main card action, Aspen Ladd (8-1) looks to rebound from her 16-second KTFO at the hands of Germaine de Randamie as she takes on Yana Kunitskaya (12-4). Yana is on a 2-fight winning streak (both UDs, of course) after a 1st round beatdown at the hands of Cris Cyborg in her UFC debut. Aspen has only gone to a decision twice in her career, both times against Sijara Eubanks. This one's looking like it could be fireworks! Aspen is a modest -155 favorite. 

***

In the prelims, WMMA fans will get to whet their appetites with the Virna Jandiroba (14-1) vs. Mallory Martin (6-2) matchup. Virna got off to a rough start in her only previous UFC fight, dropping a UD to Carla Esparza, but she's finished 11 of her opponents, all by submission. The oddsmakers have installed her as a strong -265 favorite. Mallory makes her UFC debut in this fight. I'm sure WMMA fans already know that she is the only chick Maycee Barber couldn't finish, taking Barber to a hard-fought UD when they were both in LFA. In this contest between a chick who loves to hunt for submissions and a gal who has never been finished, something's gotta give! 

WMMA: Catch The Fever!

 

12/3/19 5:55 PM
12/18/15
Posts: 1110

Lol funny but true, dont know how anyone can defend it.

12/6/19 10:53 AM
4/21/12
Posts: 9068

Nice job, Cynthia Calvillo, missing weight by 4.5 pounds. Ladies and gentlemen: This is the Co-Main Event of the Evening (in Buffer's phony voice).

That makes 2 of her last 3 fights where she missed weight. She missed by *only* 2 pounds last time. 

12/6/19 11:03 AM
4/21/12
Posts: 9069

Bloodyelbow.com says Calvillo is forfeiting 30% of her purse. Based on her last reported pay she's losing more than $12,000. Maybe the penalty is based on how badly you miss weight, or how often you miss?

Matt Sayles, who missed by 2.5 pounds, is giving up 20%.

2/28/20 8:01 AM
4/21/12
Posts: 9371

So psyched for this PPV Quality™ card tomorrow. How can the UFC stay in business when they're giving away these stacked-as-fuck cards without charging $65 or $70 or whatever the fuck they charge for PPV these days?!? 

If you're a WMMA fan (aren't we all? Don't we all watch every Invicta™ card?) then this is like Christmas in February™ !!!! The Main Card™ is Lit As Fuck™!!!!

  • Two verrrrrrry small guys in the Main Event! They're as small as Shevchenko!!!
  • Two 145 pound chicks in the Co-Main Event!
  • Two other 145 pound chicks on the Main Card!
  • Only two of the 10 fighters on the Main Card weigh more than 145 pounds! (And they're not chicks, unfortunately.)

 

2/28/20 8:17 AM
8/19/03
Posts: 28349

Tug, I love your posts on this stuff.  Always funny, and even funnier because its true. 

2/28/20 8:18 AM
8/3/11
Posts: 27109

:)

2/28/20 8:44 AM
11/19/05
Posts: 42065

Killer shit, Tug!  Great thread.

5/26/20 7:03 AM
4/21/12
Posts: 9751

Okay, I'm jumping the gun a little here, but damn it, I'm burnin' up with WMMA Fever™. And the only known cure is a heapin' helpin' of chick-on-chick brawlin' ... which UFC is about to serve up by the shovelful!!!

Clear your calendars for June 13 and get ready to be totally spent! If this doesn't get you an MMA UG-size stiffy, well, what the hell are you doing reading this thread in the first place?!?

Check this out!

June 13 UFC Fight Night:

  • Four chick fights already booked, including a Main Event that has every hotblooded male MMA fan wondering why this isn't a PPV!
  • Jessica Eye (27% finish rate, 5-5 over her last 10 fights, last win by finish was 2014) vs. Cynthia Calvillo (missed weight 2 of last 3 fights). 
  • Gatto vs. Agapova: These gals both make their UFC debuts in what will certainly be a Get-To-Know-You Barnburner!
  • Avila vs. Rosa: Both are coming off decisions in their only previous UFC appearances. Expect 15 minutes of edge-of-your-seat excitement in this one!
  • Lipski vs. Carolina: These gals have earned their UFC money, combining for 4 decisions in their 4 UFC fights so far. That's a lot of minutes in the cage! I'll be disappointed bigly if this one doesn't go the full 3 rounds!

 

(***Spoiler Alert: The June 20 card is every bit as filled to the brim with chick fights as the June 13 card. Stand by for a preview!***)

6/12/20 12:21 PM
4/21/12
Posts: 9802

Well, tomorrow's the big day, and those who are burnin' up with WMMA Fever™ are probably feeling a bit let down. Only 3 chick fights are still on the card.

  • That Main Card Magic™ is still there, as Eye vs. Calvillo lock up in a battle hardcores have been clamoring for for ages. 
  • Gatto had to withdraw (for "travel" reasons or something) and she's been replaced by Hannah Cifers, who is on a 2-fight losing streak and literally fought only 2 weeks ago, when she was finished in the very first round. I know I couldn't get enough, and apparently neither could the UFC matchmakers. This one is, as the kids say, lit !!! (Agapova, who has never fought in UFC before, is a -350 favorite. Go figure!)
  • Avila vs. Rosa is now Avila vs. Mazany. Since getting cut by UFC last year after going 1-3, Mazany picked up a win on the minor league circuit and earned a spot once again on the UFC's super deep WMMA roster. She comes in as a +600 underdog, and the oddsmakers say "Fight DOESN'T go to a decision" is favored at -195! We might see a finish in this one, fellow WMMA lovers! Fuckin' A!!!!
  • Carolina vs. Lipski has moved to another stacked card in July. These 2 Queens Of Decisions won't be providing you with a much-needed 15 minute bathroom/sandwich break on this card, so plan accordingly!

Still plenty of chick-on-chick fireworks, so I hope everyone's as stoked as I am!

6/12/20 4:12 PM
4/21/12
Posts: 9804

Psyched!

Jessica Eye only missed weight by 0.25 pounds and will only forfeit 25% of her "purse" (ha ha, come on guys, no jokes about chicks' purses, please!)!

This is a huge improvement for her, since she missed weight by a full 5 pounds for her last fight!

 

6/24/20 5:20 AM
4/21/12
Posts: 9877

I'm experiencing withdrawal symptoms. This weekend's card only features 2 chick fights. I need more. I'm like a fuckin' junkie for this stuff. If I want to watch 2 dudes beating the ever-livin' hell out of each other, I can go watch Bellator or something. But when I want chick-on-chick violence, UFC is my one-stop-shop.

As others have pointed out, WMMA has "evolved." Ten years ago we wouldn't have had an absolute killer like Tecia Torres, with her 9% finish rate, ranked in the Top 15. Back then we would have had some fucking Soccer Mom™ with a 9% finish rate! 

This week we get to see the New Generation™ of WMMA.

  • Frey vs. Hansen. So psyched for these two gals to make their UFC debuts! Straight off the Invicta roster, these chicks bring 115 pounds of pure, raw, WMMA Thrills™ to the small-ish Octagon™! You might not know them today, but I guarantee that Sunday morning your phone is going to blow the fuck up with other dudes wanting to talk about the latest WMMA Sensation™!!!
  • Mara Romero Borella puts her 2-4 UFC record and 3-fight losing streak on the line against someone named Miranda Maverick (no, that's not her nickname...it's her real last name) who comes straight from Invicta to spice up the 125 pound division. Expect the winner of this one to be in next week's P4P and Top 15 lists. Borella (11-8 record) has been finished in 6 of her 8 losses. I'm getting a vibe here.... bet on the new chick. Ha ha, the online bookies beat me to it: Maverick is a -300 favorite.

 

6/24/20 2:51 PM
6/27/02
Posts: 8031

Why do they keep putting the best fights so early in the card?? I work on Saturdays and it’s impossible to avoid spoilers when the whole world is talking about these match ups. 

6/24/20 5:54 PM
12/15/07
Posts: 804

I read this in an old chimey voice like a reporter from the 30's.

Edited: 6/24/20 7:58 PM
8/19/03
Posts: 28962

 

6/25/20 8:21 AM
4/21/12
Posts: 9884

No, damn it! No! This can not be happening!

Miranda Maverick has withdrawn from her fight with that other chick, and now we're down to just one chick fight unless Dana convinces Cifers to take on another short-notice loss.

Son of a fucking bitch. I'm going to have to catheterize myself with a straw so I'm not even tempted to head to the bathroom while there are dudes fighting.

Only one bathroom break.... er.... compelling chick fight left on the card? Fuck, BLAF, bring back that popular guy Joe Silva who knew how to set up a fight card!