UnderGround Forums What is your favorite Chael quote?

25 days ago
6/27/05
Posts: 27288
Smilin like Rashad -
Stu Cazzo -

"If you're asking me to share stories with you, that are frankly none of your business, maybe I'll give you a couple and maybe you'll take that little smug look off your face."

Here's were Sonnen busts out some hard-hitting details about how tough his upbringing was, right?

Not exactly.

This is where the feel of the interview begins to change and, though he remains staunch in his demeanor, Sonnen begins to let the audience in on the joke.

"I can date back to when I was 11-years-old. I'm minding my own business and I'm in a park. This guy, a stranger to me, takes a piece of gum out of his pocket. He puts it in his mouth and then he just throws the wrapper on the ground. He publicly litters. And I saw that! I had to see these things at a young age. Sure somebody came along, picked it up, and threw it in a trash can, but for the few moments where that sat on the ground and the law was violated in my neighborhood..."

Though many of the commenters on YouTube missed it, Sonnen is kidding around at this point. From there, Sonnen built on the joke, providing more and more ridiculous examples of the "hard knocks" he experienced growing up.

"We have chaos. We have anarchy at times in West Linn. There was years when my father didn't even make a-hundred-grand--or barely made a-hundred-grand--and sure we had a maid, but she only came twice a week. What do you think happened the other five days? You think those dishes washed themselves? You think those clothes got themselves in the hamper?"

Given that Sonnen has no background in performance arts, his acting in this video is impressive. Though the words he's saying make the joke clear, he doesn't once break character.

"My neighbors....they had twins....they bought them a Mercedes Benz...they had to share that car!"

I had a friend that grew up in the hood of St Louis...he was actually a rapper that was on a couple Too Short tracks - I used to recite those lines to him all the time trying to fuck with him...telling him how hard I had it growing up in the suburbs.

25 days ago
8/31/15
Posts: 1771

The Jim rome interview was incredible, then on the follow up when he denied it. Comedy genius. Props to you Chael P

25 days ago
6/10/15
Posts: 820

I wish someone could find the exact quote, but it was something like

 "every friend I've ever had and all the relationships and good times with family. I would throw it all away to be a champion for just one day."

something like that

25 days ago
12/8/12
Posts: 1145
Stu Cazzo -
Smilin like Rashad -
Stu Cazzo -

"If you're asking me to share stories with you, that are frankly none of your business, maybe I'll give you a couple and maybe you'll take that little smug look off your face."

Here's were Sonnen busts out some hard-hitting details about how tough his upbringing was, right?

Not exactly.

This is where the feel of the interview begins to change and, though he remains staunch in his demeanor, Sonnen begins to let the audience in on the joke.

"I can date back to when I was 11-years-old. I'm minding my own business and I'm in a park. This guy, a stranger to me, takes a piece of gum out of his pocket. He puts it in his mouth and then he just throws the wrapper on the ground. He publicly litters. And I saw that! I had to see these things at a young age. Sure somebody came along, picked it up, and threw it in a trash can, but for the few moments where that sat on the ground and the law was violated in my neighborhood..."

Though many of the commenters on YouTube missed it, Sonnen is kidding around at this point. From there, Sonnen built on the joke, providing more and more ridiculous examples of the "hard knocks" he experienced growing up.

"We have chaos. We have anarchy at times in West Linn. There was years when my father didn't even make a-hundred-grand--or barely made a-hundred-grand--and sure we had a maid, but she only came twice a week. What do you think happened the other five days? You think those dishes washed themselves? You think those clothes got themselves in the hamper?"

Given that Sonnen has no background in performance arts, his acting in this video is impressive. Though the words he's saying make the joke clear, he doesn't once break character.

"My neighbors....they had twins....they bought them a Mercedes Benz...they had to share that car!"

I had a friend that grew up in the hood of St Louis...he was actually a rapper that was on a couple Too Short tracks - I used to recite those lines to him all the time trying to fuck with him...telling him how hard I had it growing up in the suburbs.

Hahaha....did you ever clue him in?

25 days ago
8/26/13
Posts: 2616

I think a black belt under the noguera brothers is like saying I got a toy in my happy meal. 

25 days ago
11/15/18
Posts: 64

Something about a teeth brush..

25 days ago
10/11/18
Posts: 4352
CaptainWoody -
Loiosh - 
S Dubaya -
Loiosh -

"I plead guilty, your Honor"

 

 

^^...to money laundering and mortgage fraud, for those who arrived late.^^

Swing and a miss. 

Question was about my favorite Cheatin' Chael quote, and that is my favorite.

 

Never understood the worship of the guy. He's a scumbag, cheater and criminal, but hey, he's good at repeating the funny lines that others wrote so let's give him a pass.


Honesty

He never made excuses and always owned up to anything he did.

He said he'd fight anyone, anytime and proved it,...never pulled out of a fight and honored every contract he signed without hassle.

He was entertaining....in an entertainment business and he himself made other fighters and everyone around him more money...he helped the sport far, far more than he ever damaged it.


Most fighters, ones that you probably consider "honorable" cheat as well, ...but they make excuses and try to weasel out of taking responsibility any way they can if they get caught, these guys also sign contracts, pull out of fights and try to "renegotiate" after they win one.

I'll take a guy that has imperfections, makes a bad decision once in a while but owns up to it and takes responsibility while honoring his promises over a half asser that pulls out, turns down certain fights and makes excuses with anything that doesn't go their way....but that's just me.

This

25 days ago
4/9/16
Posts: 2229
Frodo Zack -

"Send anybody you want, just don't send anybody you want back"                     

          The Great Chael P. Sonnen 

Came to post this as well. I stole it and still use it to this very day. 

25 days ago
6/27/05
Posts: 27294
Smilin like Rashad -
Stu Cazzo -
Smilin like Rashad -
Stu Cazzo -

"If you're asking me to share stories with you, that are frankly none of your business, maybe I'll give you a couple and maybe you'll take that little smug look off your face."

Here's were Sonnen busts out some hard-hitting details about how tough his upbringing was, right?

Not exactly.

This is where the feel of the interview begins to change and, though he remains staunch in his demeanor, Sonnen begins to let the audience in on the joke.

"I can date back to when I was 11-years-old. I'm minding my own business and I'm in a park. This guy, a stranger to me, takes a piece of gum out of his pocket. He puts it in his mouth and then he just throws the wrapper on the ground. He publicly litters. And I saw that! I had to see these things at a young age. Sure somebody came along, picked it up, and threw it in a trash can, but for the few moments where that sat on the ground and the law was violated in my neighborhood..."

Though many of the commenters on YouTube missed it, Sonnen is kidding around at this point. From there, Sonnen built on the joke, providing more and more ridiculous examples of the "hard knocks" he experienced growing up.

"We have chaos. We have anarchy at times in West Linn. There was years when my father didn't even make a-hundred-grand--or barely made a-hundred-grand--and sure we had a maid, but she only came twice a week. What do you think happened the other five days? You think those dishes washed themselves? You think those clothes got themselves in the hamper?"

Given that Sonnen has no background in performance arts, his acting in this video is impressive. Though the words he's saying make the joke clear, he doesn't once break character.

"My neighbors....they had twins....they bought them a Mercedes Benz...they had to share that car!"

I had a friend that grew up in the hood of St Louis...he was actually a rapper that was on a couple Too Short tracks - I used to recite those lines to him all the time trying to fuck with him...telling him how hard I had it growing up in the suburbs.

Hahaha....did you ever clue him in?

He knew I was an asshole troll.

25 days ago
9/13/19
Posts: 1103
Mmaster13 - 
Nytron -

"emmmmmhmmmm, hello sweet potato"... "pretty excited as a matter of fact"

 

 

And then Fedor with the "No, the tension is going away gradually" and the look on the translator's face.

That was my other option - absolute classic! 


LOL, that bitch WAS fine as fuk! Anyone know who she is?
25 days ago
11/11/11
Posts: 2039
dinkledorf -

The feeding carrots to a bus line is still my favorite. Credit goes to chaels joke writer

This 

 

25 days ago
9/20/13
Posts: 523

He had this insanely great quote about failure one of the TUF seasons, I can't remember which. But it was one of the most inspirational speeches I had ever heard.

 

I am not a nuthugger but the guys definetly has a way with words

24 days ago
9/20/07
Posts: 6705

he sucks. If I lose to him. I really suck. 

24 days ago
1/1/01
Posts: 11615
Kong Morten - 

He had this insanely great quote about failure one of the TUF seasons, I can't remember which. But it was one of the most inspirational speeches I had ever heard.

 

I am not a nuthugger but the guys definetly has a way with words


Was that the "failure is always an option" one?
24 days ago
10/12/18
Posts: 21

"Listen Wanderlei, I will do a home invasion on you. I will cut the power to your house and the next thing you'll hear is me climbing up your stairs in a pair of night vision goggles I bought in the back of Soldier of Fortune magazine. I'll pick the lock to the master room door, take a picture of you in bed with the Nogueira brothers working on your 'jiu-jitsu'. I'll take said quote unquote photograph, post it at dorksfrombrazil.com, password - not required, username - not required. That, Wanderlei, is how you threaten someone. Dummy."

23 days ago
9/20/13
Posts: 524
PeterIrl -
Kong Morten - 

He had this insanely great quote about failure one of the TUF seasons, I can't remember which. But it was one of the most inspirational speeches I had ever heard.

 

I am not a nuthugger but the guys definetly has a way with words


Was that the "failure is always an option" one?

 

 

Exactly! I found the clip on YouTube. Brilliant. 

23 days ago
10/11/18
Posts: 4365
Chaga -

"Listen Wanderlei, I will do a home invasion on you. I will cut the power to your house and the next thing you'll hear is me climbing up your stairs in a pair of night vision goggles I bought in the back of Soldier of Fortune magazine. I'll pick the lock to the master room door, take a picture of you in bed with the Nogueira brothers working on your 'jiu-jitsu'. I'll take said quote unquote photograph, post it at dorksfrombrazil.com, password - not required, username - not required. That, Wanderlei, is how you threaten someone. Dummy."

That's fucking hilarious 

23 days ago
2/15/11
Posts: 2754
VFR -
Mmaster13 -

"I'm like Jon Jones, I sound like Sean Combs, and I got trombone size stones like John Holmes."

Credit to Mac Lethal for writing that joke:

 

1:47

 

Mac Lethal?  What's lethal about him?

Old age?
Stroke face?
A relapse going back to his old ways?
A suicide because no fame?
--

He's a piece of shit
Nah like a real piece of shit
Like if a piece of shit fucked a piece of shit and got an STD
He's that piece of shit

22 days ago
2/24/19
Posts: 604

22 days ago
9/13/14
Posts: 6415
ShootProod -
VFR -
Mmaster13 -

"I'm like Jon Jones, I sound like Sean Combs, and I got trombone size stones like John Holmes."

Credit to Mac Lethal for writing that joke:

 

1:47

 

Mac Lethal?  What's lethal about him?

Old age?
Stroke face?
A relapse going back to his old ways?
A suicide because no fame?
--

He's a piece of shit
Nah like a real piece of shit
Like if a piece of shit fucked a piece of shit and got an STD
He's that piece of shit

Credit to Tom MacDonald for writing that.

22 days ago
11/9/15
Posts: 2625
Marion Cobretti -

he sucks. If I lose to him. I really suck. 

 

22 days ago
1/1/01
Posts: 32596

"Quitting is always an option. It's often times the best option."

22 days ago
7/8/06
Posts: 13038

ttt

Edited: 22 days ago
10/11/18
Posts: 4380
mix headroom -
Marion Cobretti -

he sucks. If I lose to him. I really suck. 

 

Hadn't heard this one before, surprisingly, but I love it.

 

Ya know, at first I actually didnt like Chael.  But he legit grew on me over the years and I've become a big fan.  I don't even give a shit about his past legal issues or roids...he's the fucking AMERICAN GANGSTER!  

 

Keep the quotes coming guys, loving this shit!

14 days ago
8/26/13
Posts: 2619

Take Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong did a number of things and he gave himself cancer. He cheated, he did drugs, and he gave himself cancer. Well, instead of saying 'Hey listen, I cheated and gave myself cancer, don't be like me,' he actually made himself the victim and then went out and profited something like $15 million from this 'Hey, poor me, let's find a cure for cancer' campaign instead of just coming clean and saying, 'Look, here's what I did, I screwed myself up, and I hope people learn from my mistakes.' You just watch these guys and can't help but think, God, what a fraud. You got the whole Michael Phelps being a pothead thing too. I'm just glad I'm in the business I'm in so I can get them in the cage and kick the crap out of them."

Worth noting that this Sonnen quote was made way before the Lance Armstrong scandal came to light. He was widely criticised at the time for questioning a national hero.

 

"You know, these guys want to talk about God; 'Oh, I want to thank God. I want to thank God.' Listen, I'm a God-fearing man, go to church every Sunday and have since I was a boy. But if I ever found out that God cared one way or another about a borderline illegal fist-fight on Saturday night, I would be so greatly disappointed that it would make rethink my entire belief system."

Clearly Sonnen doesn't believe the man upstairs has an accumulator going during a UFC event.

 

"Anderson Silva is as fake as Mike Tyson was. They called him the hardest, 'The baddest man in the world' but he wasn't even the toughest guy in America and we had to sit through and listen to that over and over again as he fought lots of tomato cans."