What if ... Can you submit a Gorilla?

Edited: 4/5/04 12:00 AM
08/23/2003
Posts: 1669
they would rip your arms off
Edited: 4/5/04 12:00 AM
08/03/2003
Posts: 669
As a father I can say, I would find a way to get it to give up my kid. Probably contact shoot the freakin thing in the head. As far as submitting. I don't believe its possible.
Edited: 4/5/04 12:00 AM
12/18/2002
Posts: 236
Of course it's possible to choke out a gorilla. They have arteries too. What you have to worry about with Gorillas is the biting. When Gorillas fight each other, they bite. They also punch, but it's not like they aim for the head or any vital parts. They just throw their arms wildly. They are REALLY fucking fast. You ever watch nature shows where a gorilla will run up on someone to try to scare them away? I can't imagine taking a gorilla down because they already have such a low base when they are standing on all fours. They also have super long arms and short legs. The dynamics of their body are different. Your best bet would be to spin around to their back and go for a choke. Or get them in a guillotine, though they could probably muscle their way out of it. Then you could go for a triangle. But remember..they bite! Better not fuck that one up! ouch. Second best bet would be to go for a heel hook and pop their knee join, then get the fuck away from it. While in the heel hook position, you would be able to use your leg strength to keep their damn mouth away from you, and maybe knock them on their butt. BUT their arms are LONG, so they would likely still be able to hit you even if you are in a heelhook position. They would likely punch your body. Interesting topic.
Edited: 4/5/04 12:00 AM
01/01/2001
Posts: 302
Bushmaster AR15 + EOTech Red Dot Scope + Match Grade .223 Ammo = Dead Gorilla. Trying to hurt a Gorilla w/ anything less than a firearm is just insane.
Edited: 4/5/04 12:00 AM
11/27/2002
Posts: 374
"Your best bet would be to spin around to their back and go for a choke. Or get them in a guillotine, though they could probably muscle their way out of it." Let me say this once. You will have no chance at choking a full grown raging gorilla. Ecspecially a mountain gorilla. Males routinely weigh 400lbs+. good luck with your rolling knee bars too. You would quite simply be torn limb from limb if the gorilla decided he wanted to.
Edited: 4/5/04 12:00 AM
03/12/2002
Posts: 556
The wife and I both carry, I'd just unload everything into his head and hoped he didn't land on my kid.
Edited: 4/5/04 12:00 AM
01/01/2001
Posts: 566
Gorilla would win. A large guy with good grappling skills against a chimp who isn't allowed to bite(I don't know how this would be done) would be a more interesting battle.
Edited: 4/5/04 12:00 AM
03/15/2003
Posts: 962
I would throw bananas at the gorilla. If that didnt work then I'd punch it in the face and get my daughter back
Edited: 4/5/04 12:00 AM
12/18/2002
Posts: 238
You're right...might as well just give up and bend over for the gorilla. Did I say probable? No. Did I say likely? No. Did I say it would be easy? Hell no. I'm just thinking of what I would *TRY* to do if a gorilla grabbed me. What would you do? Sing to it? The UG regulars are great at generalizing. Keep in mind the variances in gorillas are just like the variances in humans. Not all Gorillas are the same...and not all Gorillas are "full raging" at every given moment. I still think it is POSSIBLE to choke out a gorilla. Of course it's possible. I have absolutely NO doubt that it is POSSIBLE to choke out a gorilla.
Edited: 4/5/04 12:00 AM
12/09/2003
Posts: 259
A hand to hand combat with a gorilla, not in your wildest dreams. A 400lb male gorilla has the strength of 10 olympic weightlifters. .357 mag is your greatest submission hold.
Edited: 4/5/04 12:00 AM
01/01/2001
Posts: 253
This is an awesome website that answers a lot of dumb (no offense) questions like this one: Reprinted from: http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_001b.html Can a 90-lb. chimp clobber a full-grown man? 10-Sep-1976 Dear Cecil: The other day I told some friends a story about how when I was 14 and living near Washington, D.C., I saw this 90-pound monkey at a carnival who could literally pick a grown man up and toss him out of a boxing ring. A crowd of people listened to a man (probably the trainer) dare anyone to stay three minutes in the ring with what appeared to be a large chimp. There was a fee to try your luck and a $100 reward if you stayed in the three minutes. Well, I'll tell you, I saw these big guys get in there with this monkey and get tossed right out. It seems the trainer had this whistle and whenever he felt inclined he would blow it, which was the signal for the chimp to do his thing. It was a delightful experience (to watch, at least). Anyway, I don't think my friends believed me. So you have to back me up, Cece: isn't it true that a 90-pound chimpanzee can throw a full-grown man through the air? --Tom M., Chicago P.S.: Their great strength notwithstanding, is it possible to keep chimps as pets? Dear Tom: Chimpanzees look mighty cute trucking around on their roller skates, wearing funny hats, and going "ook, ook," but when roused they are vicious little bastards and not to be trifled with. Blessed with a muscle structure considerably superior to that of Homo sapiens (if not nearly as fetching in a bathing suit), chimpanzees can handle almost anything that comes along. Three drunks at a carnival would be no sweat. It's a lot easier to get a chimp in roller skates than it is to get him to pump iron--hence, most of the data on chimp strength is anecdotal and decidedly unscientific. In tests at the Bronx Zoo in 1924, a dynamometer--a scale that measures the mechanical force of a pull on a spring--was erected in the monkey house. A 165-pound male chimpanzee named "Boma" registered a pull of 847 pounds, using only his right hand (although he did have his feet braced against the wall, being somewhat hip, in his simian way, to the principles of leverage). A 165-pound man, by comparison, could manage a one-handed pull of about 210 pounds. Even more frightening, a female chimp, weighing a mere 135 pounds and going by the name of Suzette, checked in with a one-handed pull of 1,260 pounds. (She was in a fit of passion at the time; one shudders to think what her boyfriend must have looked like next morning.) In dead lifts, chimps have been known to manage weights of 600 pounds without even breaking into a sweat. A male gorilla could probably heft an 1,800-pound weight and not think twice about it. As you might deduce, therefore, the word on keeping chimps as pets is a big negatory. Chimpanzees can never be fully domesticated; they're aggressive by nature and sooner or later they'll start to threaten their keepers in subtle ape ways that the untrained eye won't recognize, until one day--blammo. But maybe you're thinking, I'll just keep the little beast until it starts to act tough, and then toss it back into the jungle. Wrong. A chimpanzee brought up in captivity won't be accepted by its brothers in the wild. Shunned, the citified chimp will either starve to death or be set upon by a simian hit squad. No matter how you look at it, keeping a chimp as a pet is dangerous and inhumane. --CECIL ADAMS
Edited: 4/5/04 12:00 AM
01/01/2001
Posts: 254
So, the short answer is that a 35 lbs. female chimp could rip your arms clean off of your body without too much effort. I'm going to say that you don't have a chance in hell in submitting any of our furry cousins!
Edited: 4/5/04 12:00 AM
12/09/2003
Posts: 260
nice esay...too long but nice
Edited: 4/5/04 12:00 AM
01/01/2001
Posts: 255
Sorry it was too long. Then again, I didn't write it.
Edited: 4/5/04 12:00 AM
07/22/2003
Posts: 1378
This thread is idiotic. A gorilla would fuck up five people at a time.
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04/17/2003
Posts: 455
rear naked
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03/23/2003
Posts: 95
is the gorilla wearing a Gi?
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01/01/2001
Posts: 256
Did anyone see that movie with Cuba Gooding Jr. and Anthony Hopkins where Hopkins' character lived w/ apes? I think it was called "Instinct" or something like that. Was there any man v. gorilla stuff in that.
Edited: 4/5/04 12:00 AM
01/01/2001
Posts: 257
Todd82: Although I agree with your ultimate conclusion, I have to say that this is the most interesting thread I've seen on this forum in months.
Edited: 4/5/04 12:00 AM
08/20/2003
Posts: 3871
Would a Gorilla need a Gi? They're pretty hairy.
Edited: 4/5/04 7:47 PM
03/26/2003
Posts: 66
What belt is he? Most whitebelt gorillas and even some of the blues just don't have enough mat time to defend against a good human purple or decent brown. It's not their fault. There aren't a lot of BJJ schools in Africa yet but that will change as the sport continues to grow.
Edited: 4/5/04 12:00 AM
08/20/2003
Posts: 3876
What about those crazy white gorillas from that movie "Congo?"
Edited: 4/5/04 12:00 AM
12/09/2003
Posts: 262
Guys, if your curious about submitting a gorilla, next time you are visiting a zoo, jump in the gorilla's (home/habitat) to test your theory out, bring back a updated report when you are out of the hosptial ward!
Edited: 4/5/04 12:00 AM
08/20/2003
Posts: 3882
Where does Mighty Joe Young fit into all this?
Edited: 4/5/04 12:00 AM
08/20/2003
Posts: 3891
Hey, I watch discovery planet. I know. Signed Grape Ape.