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Chuck Norris reads top 10 Chuck Norris 'facts'

Chuck Norris Facts are an Internet phenomenon of satirical "facts" about martial artist and actor Chuck Norris. Here, Chuck Norris reads the top 10 'facts' about Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris

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Chuck Norris Facts are an Internet phenomenon of satirical "facts" about martial artist and actor Chuck Norris. The "facts" tend to involve absurdly exaggerated claims of Norris' toughness, attitude, virility, and masculinity stated in an absurdly serious tone.

In this video, Chuck Norris reads the top 10 'facts' about Chuck Norris:
10. Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups, he pushes the earth down.
9. There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.
8. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb.
7. Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger. By yelling "Bang!" 
6. Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
5. When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, EVER.
4. On the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it is noted that all records are held by Chuck Norris, and that those listed are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
3. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
2. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
1. Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. Too bad he's never cried. EVER.

In another interview, on CNBC, Norris revealed his all-time favorite Chuck Norris Fact:
•Chuck Norris' face was going to be on Mt. Rushmore, but the granite wasn't tough enough for his beard.

More popular Facts include:
• When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris
• There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
• Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
• Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
•Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
• Fear of spiders is arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is claustrophobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic.
• Some magicians can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.
• Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
• When God said, “Let there be light!” Chuck said, “Say Please.”
• Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.

Chuck Norris facts first started appearing on the Internet in early 2005. Initially distributed in the Something Awful forums, the "facts" first centered on Vin Diesel, in response to his film The Pacifier. At some point, forum members chose Chuck Norris to be the new subject. Conan O'Brien's Chuck Norris jokes on Late Night with Conan O'Brien have been cited as a likely inspiration for the meme.

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